Mereka yang Sukses adalah Mereka yang Berjuang

Bismillah.

 

So I heard the news about other people's decision, and their judgement. But what I heard, is as if, they judge me too.. No I'm not taking anything personal. I know precisely that their talking about someone else. It's just.. me, I'm, I'm projecting and reflecting on their judgement to myself.

I know the truth behind the sentence. And I agree with it,

"Mereka yang sukses adalah mereka yang berjuang. Yang mau bertahan meski berada di lingkungan yang tidak nyaman. Yang tidak mudah menyerah, yang berjuang, dan fokus pada apa yang ingin digapainya."

That's a good sentence, with a true value, that I should learn in life. But here I am looking at the mirror as seeing the "bad shape of me". I'm still here, not growing, and not becoming a beautiful bonsai also. I am still me, still far from growing. Just barely alive, dreaming a lot, but take just a slow little step a head, while often to take a step back, and drown myself with unnecessary things. 

I am afraid though. I always in a big snow ball of feeling afraid. Aku takut aku bukan termasuk orang-orang yang berjuang. Aku takut, aku dipanggil dalam keadaan seperti ini.

So right now, as I am afraid. Let's use this emotion to make a dua. Allahumma inna nas-aluka husnul khatimah wannajata minannaar. Aamiin.