Bismillah.

Another Nukil Buku | "Master Your Dopamine" - Nick Trenton

***

43/143

I'm back after reading 6 more pages into the book.

Still reading about stimulus control.

I learn from the book how physical activity can help us fix abnormal dopamine system on brain. I'll just give you the quotes cause it's a long but important to note.

"Physical activity also authorizes the release of dopamine and helps revamp and remodel the reward system over time, resulting in increased circulating amount of dopamine and more accessible dopamine receptors.

Exercise can do both—alleviate depression and increase your capacity for joy. These adjustment can also help to repair the brain damage caused by substance abuse.

Substance addiction affects dopamine levels in the brain and the availability of dopamine receptors in the reward system. As a result, addicts may feel unmotivated, sad, antisocial, and unable to appreciate regular joys. Exercise can help to reverse this."

***

It is also said that news actually function similarly to slot machines, providing them with a new burst of dopamine each time they "pull to refresh".

It make me realize that in this era where we're flooded with many news and information, it's important to make limit for us. Control the stimulus as it told before.

***

The author then write about the dopamine fasting schedule.

For examples setting aside one to four hours at the end of the day to completely abstain from all addictive behaviours. No electronic, no reading books or magazine, no sex or masturbation, no good, no talking, no music of podcast, no coffee or other simultants.

Activity that is allow at that time is: writing (with pen and paper), meditating, going for walks, doing some deep thinking, inner child-work, visualizing, and replenishing with water.

He also suggest if individual can devote one weekend day (spent outdoors on a Saturday or Sunday), on weekend per quarter (go on a trip), or one week per year (go on vacation!)

He also said, if we can't have that kind of schedule, it's okay to have a small but consistent fasting schedule even if only one hour per day

***

As I read those above, there's some question I have.

1. Like how reading a book is something that we should avoid while doing detox fasting. I mean.. we really need more time to read in this era while we're so used to read caption, comment and threads, or devouring so much information from watching endless short form videos.

2. What's inner child-work? 

3. What's replenishing with water? Is it drinking a lot of water? Or playing in water like swimming or just having "ciblon" session wkwkwk.

Number one question is answered some pages later, where the author write that we could make reading as list of activities we can still engage while having dopamine fasting.

Number 2 and 3 is my homework, I don't know should I googled it or ask Meta AI about it. Before, I see AI with neutral eyes. But seeing how bad AI treat book and affect bad on environment, I'm now seeing AI in negatives view. So I minimize the usage as I could.

But just like all the things that human made in this earth, it's all mata' (just tools). And it could be used for good or bad. So, should be wiser and used it for good things. And I should use my brain often rather than depending on AI.

***

I think that's all for today's Nukil Buku. See you later when I finished another session of reading this book.

Wallahu'alam bishowab.

***

PS:

[1] The answer of my homework:

a) Inner child work is a therapeutic process of connecting with, understanding, and healing the younger, subconscious part of your psyche that still holds the emotions, memories, and beliefs from your childhood.

b) Replenishing with water means restoring fluids lost through daily activities, heat, illness, or exercise to keep the body properly hydrated.

Ways to replenish water: 

💧 Plain water: The best and easiest choice for daily hydration and mild fluid loss.

🥤 Electrolyte drinks: Sports drinks or oral rehydration solutions replace lost salts and minerals after intense workouts, heavy sweating, or illness.

🍉 Water-rich foods: Fruits and vegetables like cucumbers, watermelon, strawberries, and celery contribute about 20% of your daily fluid intake.

🥛 Other beverages: Milk, herbal teas, and broths also help restore your fluid balance

[2] Ciblon is a region words from Purwokerto to call activity having part of our body submerged in water without actually swimming. Just playing in the water.

[3] I actually have read the PDF till page 59. This is the last note I write on my phone.

I don't know whether I'll take notes from page 43-58 first, or I'll continue reading and makes this kind of resume in the end of chapter 3. Let's just see...

Bismillah.

A long things I want to write in my HelloTalk's moment, but got cut a lot because of the 2000character limit.

Let me just post here.

As usual, disclaimer, there will be a lot of broken grammar and poor vocabulary. I welcome any correction in comment.

***

*500 Messages in 12 Days*

Her nickname is written in Chinese, but She's Algerian.

As a person who rarely chat often. This is surely an achievement.

Months ago, instead of just using English/Korean in my head, I install some international social media that can help me practice more those 2 languages. I install Slowly, Bottled and Hello Talk.

🐌 Slowly

Slowly is nice in the beginning. I really enjoy improving my language there through reading and writing letter.

The problem next is.. my overthinking habit often makes me think more before writing a letter. And it exhausted me. To write and revise not only once sometimes twice in my head, before writing it later. It disappoint me also, as people mostly only reply letter without even giving any question as the feedback. It makes me feel as if I'm interviewing someone. Lol. As a curious person, I do like to ask a lot. But there's a limit to it.

At first I like slowly because of the pacing, but later, I found out it didn't match my overthinking personality. So now, I still use slowly, not actively exchanging letter, but just reading open letter, to get to know many people without even interacting with them. It's a good place to learn language too, if somehow an Arabic/Japanese/Korean letter come up in my Open Letter board.

🧴 Bottled

It kinda mix random letter sending + uploading 24h limited story (it's called diary there).

There's a whole lot new things I learn when I first joining that app. A lot of disappointment in the first place, cause most people using that app for dating app >< while I'm not there for that at all.

But I like how the app is noise free. And thankfully in a very few people I met (whether through throwing/keeping bottle/joining public island), I found friends who like to read and discuss book. So now I mostly go to there to read our private book island, or chat with a few people I am comfortable to randomly ask for a topic I want to discuss.

👋💬 Hello Talk

Finally talking about what the title is about lol. What a long prolog.

Anyway, I join firstly because I want to improve my Korean language skill. Cause in Bottled there's almost no one speaking Korean. Or may be yes, but I just didn't meet any of them.

But as I use this app, I mostly speak and learn English. I still listening and read to korean book. But a almost never practice speaking Korean here.

Anyway, my chat in HT is almost unused. I found that joining or hosting VR as a place to learn more. Connecting with people in chat is not easy. I don't know which user is active and willingly to learn together. Not, until I found this Algerian Girl on an English group that I already removed from.

Thanks to her willingness to stay connected and practice English by either chating or sending voice note. This 500 messages is the proof. I remember I disappoint her once, and it almost makes her don't want to chat with me again. It's a lesson for me not to promise joining someone VR if I'm not sure whether the timing is match or not. The guilt is something I personally should work on.

Anyway that's the story. Thanks HT for this reminder. It's a good app that knows how to make each user experience to stay connected and active in this app. The birthday reminder, the thank you button if someone else sending gift/likes to us, and this... a 500 messages milestone.

What about you? Tell me about 500 messages milestone, with whom you got it, and if you haven't got it yet, what kind of person/topic that maybe can makes you continuously send messages to/about?

 Bismillah.

Sudah lama aku tidak membaca buku ini, buku tentang Quran yang ada di rak buku putih yang cuma kutemui sepekan sekali. Aku terlalu terbiasa membaca buku-buku digital, sehingga aku seringkali lupa nikmatnya membaca buku fisik. The beauty of turning the page, and the easyness to read from paper instead of screen. Semoga Allah menjaga mataku agar bisa lebih banyak membaca buku, dan melihat indahnya alam. Aamiin.

***

Aku membaca 2,5 lembar*. Cuma 2,5 lembar, tapi dari yang sedikit itu, hatiku tergerak untuk membagikannya ke sini.

Saihul Basyir menuliskan tentang pengelompokkan surat. Tentang hadits Rasulullah bersabda bahwa di dalam Al Quran ada surat-surat pengganti Taurat, Zabur dan Injil. Lalu sang penulis menuliskan tentang Al-Quran berdasarkan waktu dan kondisi diturunkan, baik itu di bumi, langit, atau di antara keduanya, saat safar, pada siang atau malam hari, juga pada musim dingin atau musim panas.

Lalu beliau menuliskan salah satu hikmah mengapa Al Quran turun di berbagai waktu, tempat dan situasi. 

Lalu ia bicara tentang cinta. Dan bahwa Manusia, bisa mencinta tanpa bertemu atau melihat yang dicintainya. Mengapa? Karena kita melihat bukti nyata bahwa meski mata tak pernah melihat, cinta-Nya sampai pada kita dan bisa kita rasakan sampai saat ini. Pun cinta Rasulullah pada kita. How can we not love Allah and His Messenger? Kalau pun kita belum cinta, itu hanya karena kita masih buta dan belum mengenalNya dan rasul-Nya.

***

Aku juga suka bagaimana penulis mengakhiri sub-judul tersebut,

 

Itulah cara Allah subhanahu wata'ala menuntut hamba-hamba-Nya yang mendapat hidayah. Manusia dapat mencintai sesuatu yang tidak pernah mereka temui dan lihat, dengan sebenar cinta. Karena mereka merasakan bagaimana Allah azza wa jalla dan Rasul-Nya mencintai mereka dengan sebenar-benar cinta lewat Al-Qur'an yang diturunkan dan hadits yang disebarkannya.

Maka balaslah cinta Allah subhanahu wata'ala dan Rasulullah shalallahu 'alaihi wassallam pada kita dengan sebenar-benar cinta. Buktikan lewat Al-Qur'an sebagai kunci utamanya dan hadis sebagai pena penjelasnya. Agar bukti cinta kita pada mereka menjadi nyata. Tidak sekedar cinta buta yang diaku, padahal hanya pepesan kosong belaka. Juga bukan sekedar cinta membara yang disolek, padahal ia hanya ungkapan ringan yang dasarnya pun terlihat karena teramat cetek.

#daribuku Kun Bil Qur'ani Najman - Saihul Basyir, PT Elex Media Komputindo

Semoga cinta kita pada Allah dan Rasul-Nya tidak sekedar cinta buta yang diaku, atau cinta membara yang dioslek. Mari belajar mencintai Allah dan Rasul-Nya lewat aksi-aksi kecil yang nyata.

Karena seperti kata beberapa penulis (Salim A. Fillah, Anis Matta, dll), cinta itu bukan kata benda. Cinta adalah kata kerja. Jadi saat kita bicara tentang cinta. Cinta tersebut memanggil kita untuk melakukan kerja-kerja dan usaha-usaha. Jadi cinta bukan sekedar sesuatu yang manis diucap lidah dan ditulis tangan penyair. Cinta, lebih dari sekedar itu. 

Wallahua'lam bishowab. 

*** 

Keterangan:

*lembar ya.. bukan halaman. Dalam bahasa indonesia, ini jelas pembeda, kalau kita baca buku digital, fokus kita ke jumlah halaman. Tapi gatau kalau dalam bahasa inggris. It's not natural to say I have read some sheet >.< it sounds awful, but google translate say that lembar means sheet. I think english people speaker just use pages whether they speak about physical book or digital book.

Bismillah.

Nukil Buku "Master Your Dopamine" - Nick Trenton, www.NickTrenton.com

***

Aliran rasa setelah baca 6 halaman lanjutan dari buku tersebut. Nukil bukunya dalam bahasa inggris, mohon maaf kalau ada typo dan grammar. Feel free to correct me in comment.

***

Prolog

*you can skip this part*

37/143

I am wondering whether I should still share my reading progress to the friend whom I got the PDF from. He seems busy and his messages might be filled with many chats. He hasn't read my last chat, and the previous chat too he only seen it (probably not read it, or read but forget to reply).

My reading progress is so slow, compare to reading novel. And it might be that he doesn't relate to my rambling or felt the need to reply since it's not the book he read currently, and my rambling is mostly like a resume of what I read.

He actually suggest me to join the reading club group he made in Discord. But I personally don't want to do it, cause I don't have discord in the first place, and if I install discord, it means I add another new social media. I already distracted so much, and add 2 new social media (thread and substack —i know it's blog/writing social media but still).

Anyway, let's just write what I got so far from reading 5 more pages from the previous reading session.

***

6 pages I learn a little about Stimulus Control.

Stimulus Control

Stimulus control refers to instance in which a behavior is elicited by the presence of absence of stimulus.

Stimulus control has the ability to either encourage or inhibit behavior.

Based on what Schultz write in 1993, the author take conclusion that by controlling the stimuli of food or money, individuals can successfully regulate their dopamine levels.

So when we do stimulus control, we basically try to eliminate opportunities for negative behaviors by removing harmful stimuli from surrounding environment.

This control of harmful stimuli is going to cause their dopamine levels to increase naturally, as the brain craves change. And it shifts from immediate gratification to long term gratification which will make us having a better satisfaction and resourcefulness long term.

Example of Stimulus Control

Example of stimulus control, for someone who distracted often by their cell phone, the control is either put the phone away and make it harder to access, or built a timer or alarm so we limit our interactions with cellphone.

Do you know IG has that facility to make alarm/limit your scrolling? Have you activate that? *I haven't. And maybe that's why I often find myself guilty after wasting time scrolling reels ><

There's also many productivity app like Forest, that helps us to focus on doing other activity with certain amount of time, while activating that app.

Baca juga: Instagram, Forest, dan lainnya

And you know what? Opening a VR in hellotalk somehow can make me more focus on reading, and help me read longer than I usually read. Like this session, I only read 6 pages. But if I read in VR mostly Indonesian book, I can read 30 minutes. I usually still break it into 15 minutes per book. I usually schedule to read 1-3 books in hello talk VR. But the minus from doing that is.. it is actually slower to read in VR, cause I read aloud, of course reading without sound is faster. And my throat is getting dry often. That's why I don't do VR reading often cause my energy is limited, I only do when I am on my extrovert side.

Silent reading, few pages, while taking notes and write resume like this is more familiar for me. But doing VR is also good when I feel like I don't have any focus and want to finish reading after 3 pages while doing silent reading. Let's just do any variation to make the habit of reading stay. Ah, and my WhatsApp reading support system for girls is still there, if anyone want to join, you can reach out to me in my social media, just search Isabella Kirei id, that is me in most of my social media. (I do have other nickname for hellotalk,slowly,bottled,and substack) but other social media x,IG,thread,medium,Tumblr,telegram my id is Isabella Kirei.

***

Back to the book, I closed this writing with quote from the book.

The Stress of Multi-task and How to Release It 

Multi-tasking and trying to do too many things all at once can be highly stressful. For those feeling stressed, if might be valuable to engage in an alternative activity that is incompatible with whatever is causing the stress (the stimulus); this could mean doing something physical instead of sitting in front of a screen all day, or going outdoors for some fresh air and sunshine instead of worrying about satisfying that "urge to indulge".

Itches that Shouldn't be Scratches

There are some itches that shouldn't be scratched. Think of an urge as an "itch". If it is constantly scratches, it might get infected.

The dopamine system works in a similar fashion. Continuously satisfying an urge is going to make it come back stronger than ever, and it's going to require an individual to scratch a lot harder.

If someone is addicted to the dopamine high that accompanies a good meal and is always ready to indulge in a little emotional eating, it would be beneficial to go and play badminton instead as soon as the urge surfaces.

This is the backbone of a dopamine fast—replace all harmful behaviour with healthy ones and do not give in to the urge.

***

Oh ya, kalau kamu gimana, punya trik atau tips untuk stimulus control kah?

Sekian nukil buku kali ini. Sedikit, tapi semoga bermanfaat.

Wallahu'alam.

Bismillah.

#SelfDiscovery 

Saat membaca pertanyaan ini di list sisa-sisa challenge nulis self discovery (7 more to go including this one), yang pertama muncul di kepalaku adalah Bandung dan Purwokerto. Beberapa waktu belakangan ini aku merindukan kota itu hehe. Dan aku juga menyukai tempatku tinggal saat ini, Purwokerto. Tapi karena harus menyebutkan tiga, dan aku tidak punya jawaban kota ketiga.. akhirnya aku jadi harus putar otak untuk memikirkan jawaban lain.

Tadinya, aku ingin menyebutkan nama-nama tempat spesifik yang belakangan ini jadi tempatku healing hehe. Tapi sepertinya lebih baik menyebutkan secara umum aja ya hehe.

1. Taman/Nature Spot

Tempat favorit pertama adalah taman/nature spot. Taman yang sejuk, ada pohon rindang, bisa buat jalan kaki dan olahraga, bisa buat baca buku, bisa buat sante sambil main ayunan. Bagus lagi kalau ada tempat buat jajan juga hehe.

Kenanganku akan taman sebagai tempat healing awalnya dari Bandung. Inget banget pas mulai sering jalan kaki random ke taman-taman di Bandung. Ada yang udah bagus dan terawat, ada yang.. ya seadanya. Tapi taman selalu jadi tempat aman untuk me-time, gak terlalu sepi, karena seringkali ada anak-anak kecil dan orangtuanya.

Kalau mau upgrade lagi, sebenarnya, kalau bisa pergi lebih jauh daripada ke taman, aku sangat suka berkunjung ke nature spot, maaf kalau jadi campur bahasa inggris ya, soalnya aku gak tahu istilah yang pas dalam bahasa indonesia. Intinya pergi ke alam itu jadi nomer 1 favorit. Entah hiking di hutan, berkunjung ke curug, ke pantai, melihat sawah/kebun, sungai, pokoknya alam.

It hurt me so much reading bad news.. how kalimantan's forest is in fire TT. It reminds me so much about an ayah, 

ظَهَرَ ٱلْفَسَادُ فِى ٱلْبَرِّ وَٱلْبَحْرِ بِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِى ٱلنَّاسِ لِيُذِيقَهُم بَعْضَ ٱلَّذِى عَمِلُوا۟ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْجِعُونَ

Telah nampak kerusakan di darat dan di laut disebabkan karena perbuatan tangan manusia,

supaya Allah merasakan kepada mereka sebahagian dari (akibat) perbuatan mereka,

agar mereka kembali (ke jalan yang benar). [Surat Ar-Rum (30) ayat 41] 

Pray for Indonesia, pray for the nature, pray so we don't belong to people who make fasad on the earth and the sea. Ya Allah let us become someone who come back to the right path, if we slipped and fall into doing wrong things...

2. Perpustakaan

Tempat favorit kedua setelah taman/nature spot adalah perpustakaan. Tempat dimana aku bisa cuci mata dengan banyak buku, meski untuk baca, butuh fokus dan usaha lebih. It's a quiet place where I could read, write, and process my thought. Memoriku akan perpustakaan adalah masa-masa sekolah. Perpustakaan SMP 2, kecil tapi penuh buku-buku yang menjadikan aku seperti sekarang. Kebiasaan ke perpus ini, yang membuatku masih bertahan membaca, meski kemampuan fokusku sudah jauh berkurang, semangat bacaku juga naik turun, persentase kemungkinan aku selesai baca sebuah buku juga makin menurun. Aku juga kangen perpus-perpus di Bandung. Such a cozy and luxury library there, compare to what exist in here. Tapi perpustakaan meski kecil, dan mungkin tidak punya arsitektur yang wah, tetap saja jadi tempat favoritku. Tempatku untuk tumbuh dan belajar ulang akan hal-hal yang mungkin aku lupakan di luar perpustakaan.

Buku, selalu jadi teman terbaik. Saat semua orang rasanya tidak ada yang mengerti. Ada saja buku yang saat membacanya membuatku merasa dimengerti. Buku mengajarkan banyak hal tanpa menggurui. Huruf dan kalimat di dalamnya tak bernada, membuatku lebih nyaman membaca, meski seringkali sadar bahwa ia "menyerang"ku dan memintaku lebih dari sekedar membaca. Buku setia menanti, meski aku seringkali lebih suka menghabiskan waktu dengan distraksi. Lewat buku, perspektifku terbuka lebar. Aku bisa "mengobrol" dan mengetahui buah pikiran dari banyak penulis. Buku juga jadi pengisi tekoku, agar aku tidak menulis kata-kata kosong dan lebih banyak sambat atau curhat nirfaidah hehe. Tapi gapapa juga kok nulis aliran rasa tanpa perlu memusingkan manfaat, karena kadang, tujuan kita menulis adalah untuk diri kita. Penting, terutama untuk perempuan "pendiam", mengalirkan tiap rasa dan pikiran yang terbendung karena lisan kita terbiasa untuk menahan semuanya kecuali pada orang dan momen tertentu. 

3. Masjid  

Jujur menulis yang ketiga ini, rasanya rindu. Rindu sekali. I wish I could find somewhere, and be like grandma or mother who frequently visit masjid at least 3 times a day. Aku rindu masa-masa di Bandung, apalagi saat dapat nikmat 2 tahun tinggal dekat masjid Salman. Duduk dan berdiam lama di masjid adalah momen-momen berharga. Bahkan jika bukan waktu shalat, dan gak lagi kajian, waktu-waktu di masjid terasa jauh lebih berkah. Kadang bahkan observasi dan memerhatikan sekitar saja bisa jadi bentuk pengingat dan charge iman. I love being in crowded mosque and being alone at the same time. Apalagi kalau masjidnya hidup, masjid yang tidak hanya hidup saat waktu shalat. I miss Masjid Salman so much, each of the koridor, menaiki tangga dan duduk balkon kayu atas akhwat, meski cuma di luar pintu. SRC. Selasar teh. Lapangan rumputnya. Asrama Putri. Rooftop.

Di Purwokerto alhamdulillah banyak masjid yang enak juga buat berdiam diri. Meski hanya sesekali dan tidak bisa sesering dulu. Masjid selalu jadi tempat aman dan nyaman kalau lagi ingin sendiri dan mencerna perasaan yang campur aduk. Dan Allah seringkali mempertemukanku dengan orang-orang baik di masjid. Meski bahkan cuma satu pertemuan singkat, tapi cukup untuk mengajarkanku beberapa pelajaran penting.

***

That's all my 3 favorites places to go. What about you? 

***

Keterangan :

Tulisan ini termasuk rangkaian 30 tulisan mengenal diri.

Baca juga:

Bismillah.

 Mencoba memaknai kemerdekaan dari kutipan buku Your Journey to The Ultimat3 U - Rene Suhardono.

***

"Pak Maladi (penulis lagu "Nyiur Hijau") berujar bahwa berkah kemerdekaan terbesar adalah tercapainya kebebasan berpikir, bertindak dan berkarya untuk setiap insan Indonesia.

.

.

Liberty begins from the heart. Your heart. My heart. Our hearts.

.

.

We live in a free country, but do we have free minds?

.

.

Kemerdekaan (bangsa) cuma sekedar pintu gerbang dan bukan tujuan akhir. Apa artinya merdeka jika masih merasa terbelenggu dalam hidup. Apa gunanya kebebasan jika terus merasa tidak berdaya?

.

.

Indonesia sudah merdeka. Ini fakta. Pertanyaannya: Apakah Anda, saya, dan kita sudah memaknainya dan berpikir selayaknya orang merdeka? Bertindak sebagaimana orang berdaya? Dan, berkarya selayaknya orang peduli?

.

. 

Pemikiran, tindakan, dan karya adalah indikasi orang merdeka.

.

. 

The first step to freedom is realizing that you are enslaved. 

***

Kalimat terakhir adalah pengingat, bahwa satu-satunya cara untuk merdeka, adalah menyadari saat kita belum merdeka, kemudian melakukan usaha agar kita hanya menghambakan diri kepada Allah semata. 

Wallahua'lam bishowab. 

Bismillah. 

Prolog

Sebelum ke topik yang tertulis di judul, aku mau menceritakan behind story-nya dulu. Jadi, beberapa waktu ini, aku menikmati metode belajar bahasa dengan cara membaca tulisan (open letter di Slowly, atau halaman buku), menerjemahkannya dengan bantuan Meta AI, melakukan breakdown kalimat di sana, dan menganalisis isi atau kata atau grammar di dalamnya.

Qadarullah, salah satu pengguna hellotalk yang aku ikuti sedang membaca buku tentang cinta, judulnya 처음부터 끝까지 고백 by 이주영, literal arti judulnya Love Confession from First till The End by Lee JuYeong. Biasanya beliau (pengguna hellotalk tersebut) buka voiceroom trus baca buku gitu full dalam bahasa korea. Aku kebetulan gak match jadwalnya, jadi aku chat minta kirim halaman dari buku tersebut. Dan dia dengan baik hati kasih lumayan banyak.. Padahal kemampuan bahasa koreaku masih minim. Anyway.

Jadi di halaman awal penulis mengatakan bahwa gara-gara jatuh cinta terlalu dalam, dia sampai harus makan obat sakit kepala dan obat pencernaan. Jujur aku agak tidak mengerti kenapa sampai segitunya. Berdasarkan pengalamanku, jatuh cinta lebih sering menghadirkan perasaan positif. Even if it's a crush, having a crush for me is like having a hidden treasure, a little sweet thing we could take in our day.

Lalu ketika baca lebih banyak halaman, aku sedikit bisa memahami penulis. Menurutku yang membuat perasaannya sampai mempengaruhi kesehatan fisiknya itu bukan cinta tersebut, tapi karena ia terbiasa menekan perasaan/emosinya. Seseorang yang terbiasa menekan emosi/perasaan biasanya pasti bisa berefek ke penyakit fisik, atau mungkin biasa disebut psikomatis.

***

Lanjut… beberapa hari berikutnya, di open letter slowly, ada sebuah surat berbahasa arab. Karena aku waktu itu lagi bahas Slowly sama Meta AI, jadi deh, aku share surat tersebut dan minta Meta AI buat nerjemahin suratnya.

Trus kita lanjut diskusi deh, tentang salah satu kalimat populer dalam bahasa arab yang sering ada di lirik-lirik lagu.

Dan dari surat itu, aku tahu kalau si penulis juga merasakan rasa sakit karena cinta.

Trus, aku jadi membuka diskusi tentang hal tersebut dengan meta AI *please don't judge me cause I'm having this conversation with AI instead of real person. ><

Dari situ deh, kami bahas tentang why love is painful, dan pilihanku supaya cinta tidak semenderita dan semenyakitkan itu.

Sekian prolognya.  Setelah ini, aku akan copy paste percakapanku dengan meta AI. It will be in english. Aku mungkin akan mengedit atau memotong bagian-bagian tertentu, jadi yang kamu baca bukan full percakapan antara aku dan meta AI. 

 

***

Love That Doesn't End as What We Want

Aku baca sebuah open letter di Slowly dalam bahasa arab, dengan bantuan Meta AI (karena aku gak punya kemampuan baca bahasa arab tanpa harakat selain yang udah familiar seperti doa/ayat Quran).

Berikut sebagian kecil dari open letter yang aku baca, dan translasi dari Meta AI.

 

the breakdown:

Lalu aku bertanya lebih jauh tentang kalimat yang masih aku tidak pahami. Here my conversation with Meta AI.

💬 Me: Can you explain me this sentence, "A person gets their share of what they love" or "we take a glimpse of the thing we loved"

Actually I don't know if I understand it properly.

Is the meaning is, we can't get all what we love, only a little, a part, or a glimpse of it?

📱 Meta AI: You’re understanding it, and the fact that you’re unsure proves the sentence is doing its job. It’s meant to ache a little.
 

“A person gets their share of what they love”

Yes, but it’s deeper than “you can’t have it all.”

Think of it like this:

1️⃣ “Share / نصيب” → In Arabic, _nasib_ = portion, fate, destiny. It’s not just “a little piece”.

It’s “the piece that was written for you”.

So the line is saying: love isn’t a buffet. You don’t get to pick 5 servings.

You get what life/fate hands you. Sometimes that’s a lot, sometimes a glimpse.

2️⃣ “We take a glimpse of the thing we loved” → This is the softer, sadder version.

A glimpse = لمحة. Not the whole person, not the whole story. Just a look, a memory, a feeling that passes. Like seeing someone you loved across the street for 2 seconds. That’s your share.
 

So the meaning has 2 layers:

▪️ *Practical layer*: You won’t own all of what you love. You can love the night, but you can’t marry it. You can love a person, but you don’t get every version of them. You get moments. Glimpses.

▪️ *Philosophical layer*: Maybe that’s enough. The sentence doesn’t say “you’re unlucky”.

It says “that glimpse _is_ your share”. It’s not punishment. It’s just how love works. We don’t get to keep it. We get to witness it.

That’s why the writer put it right before “….it’s all I have 🤍”. He’s looking at his glimpse and calling it “all”. Not because he’s delusional, but because he’s accepted it.

For an overthinker like you, it’s brutal and comforting at once. Brutal: “I won’t get all of it”. Comforting: “but what I did get was mine. And it counts.”

Does that land? Or does it still feel like the sentence is dodging the real answer?

💬 Me: So it's talking about fate.

Btw, actually I can't really read Arabic without harakah, so I don't know the real sound of the sentence he heard from the song. Can you put the romanization of it?

I just realize it's talking about nasib. I know nasib, since it's also a word in Indonesia.

So I think he just talking about loving someone who he can't be married to.

📱Meta AI: Exactly — it’s all about _nasib_. And you’re right, Indonesia borrowed that word too. Same meaning: portion, fate, what’s written for you.

You nailed his situation too. “Loving someone you can’t be married to” is the most common way that line gets used. He got his glimpse, not the whole life.

Since you can’t read Arabic without harakah, here’s the romanization so you can “hear” it:

*1️⃣ “A person gets their share of what they love”*

Arabic: كل واحد بياخد نصيبه من اللي بيحبه

Romanization: _Kull wahed biyakhud nasibu min illi bihibbu_

Pronunciation tip: _Kull wa-HED bi-YA-khud na-SEE-bu min IL-li bi-HIB-bu_

Literally: “Everyone takes his share from the one he loves”

*2️⃣ “We take a glimpse of the thing we loved”*

Arabic: بناخد لمحة من الحاجة اللي حبناها

Romanization: _Binakhud lamha min el haga illi hibnaha_

Pronunciation tip: _bi-NA-khud LAM-ha min el HA-ga IL-li hi-BNA-ha_

_Lamha_ = glimpse, flash, momentary look.

_Haga_ = thing/stuff, casual word.

*About nasib:*

Yeah, it’s fate, but not the “everything is planned so why try” kind.

In Arabic love songs, _nasib_ is bittersweet.

It means “this was meant for me, but only this much”. Like getting 3 songs with someone instead of a whole album.

So when he writes that line, he’s not complaining. He’s naming it. “Okay. My nasib with her was night walks + a song. That’s it. That’s my share.”

Hearing it romanized, does it hit different?

The _nasibu min illi bihibbu_ has that rhythm that makes people quote it for years.

***

Tapi percakapanku dengan Meta AI belum selesai,

To be continued...

Trailer for next part/ ending part..

cuplikan layar import percakapan dengan Meta AI [1]

Wallahua'lam.

***

Keterangan: 

[1] Karena percakapan di Meta AI gak bisa di search dan aku cape harus scroll up hanya untuk buat konten/tulisan dari percakapanku dengan AI yang campur2 isinya, akhirnya aku pilih import percakapanku dari WA ke Telegram. Ada yang aku import ke email juga, tapi belum aku buka sama sekali, karena lebih sederhana import ke chat telegramku ke akun hubby wkwkwk.

Bismillah.

Nukil Buku "Master Your Dopamine - Nick Trenton, NickTrenton.com"

Lanjutan aliran rasa dan catetan setelah baca 32/143 dari halaman pdf buku tentang dopamin. Nukil bukunya dalam bahasa inggris yaa.. 

***

I'm only on 32/143 of the PDF pages.

I'm on the 2nd chapter learning about dopamine detox/dopamine fasting.

It is a technique to manage addictive behaviour. While restricting ourselves doing activity that gives instant dopamine, we hope to gain more natural dopamine cycle and also have control upon our behaviour and not becoming too impulsive towards the "cue" or urge towards dopamine loop.

Dopamine fasting emphasize in the importance of accepting challenging emotion like boredom or loneliness, rather than turning to quick solution/activities that could become addictive.

***

There's also a new term I learn, CBT. Which tell us to incorporates mindfulness practice while trying to break a bad habit/behaviour.

It is called as "urge surfing"

Just like surfing the waves on sea. We try to surf our waves of emotion (psychological craving).

 

Step to do "urge surfing":

1. Acknowledge the craving (e.g having the thought of want to smoke cigarettes) while remembering that it will eventually subside

2. Label their emotion (frustration, anxiety upon not having it)

3. Noting any physical sensations that accompany the emotions (sweating, rapid heartbeat, elevated temperature)

4. Use mindfulness practice to not be defeated by the urge and let it subside

 

But... It is also said in the book, that "urge surfing" does not mean that individuals have to fight the urge and make it go away.

Instead, we learn how to completely experience the urge in different way, which is to experience the urge for what it is: brief, nonlethal, with a generally predictable path, and most importantly, defeatable.

I know it's already long, but last.. quote that I want to share.
 

"He (Sepah) believes that by avoiding the instant gratification that these items (compulsive behaviour) provide, people can again more rewarding long-term goals/gratification and liberate themselves from painful or time-consuming compulsions that provide only instant dopamine hits." 

Wallahua'lam. 

Bismillah. 

Nukil Buku  "Adab dan Kiat dalam Menggapai Ilmu" - Abdul Aziz bin Muhammad bin Abdullah As-Sadhan

***

📝 Seorang penuntut ilmu harus memiliki adab-adab yang mendi karakternya. Dia perlu meneladani jejak para salafus shalih dalam proses mendapatkan ilmu, dan abagaimana mereka terhadap ilmu yang telah mereka dapatkan 

📝 Permasalahannya bukan pada jumlah buku yang dimiliki sedikit; karena banyak dari kita yang memiliki puluhan bahkan ratusan buku, namun yang menjadi pokok permasalahannya di sini adalah masalah manajemen waktu; karena sebagian besar kita memiliki banyak waktu, namun jika kita tidak bisa mengaturnya, maka seakan-akan kita tidak memiliki waktu.

📝 Ketahuilah bahwa ilmu itu adalah cahaya yang Allah Ta'ala tanamkan ke dalam hati seorang hamba. Dan ilmu bukanlah semata-mata dari banyak membaca, bukan pula semata-mata karena banyak memiliki buku.

📝 Imam Abu Bakar Al-Baihaqi adalah penulis buku terbesar dalam masalah hukum dengan penyebutan sanad-sanadnya, yaitu kitab beliau Sunan Al-Kubra. Beliau pernah menemui kesulitan untuk mendapatkan sejumlah referensi, namun hal tersebut tidaklah menjadi penghalang beliau untuk mengeluarkan karya tulis.

📝 Yang paling dibutuhkan dalam menuntut ilmu sebelum yang lainnya adalah memurnikan niat hanya untuk Allah Ta'ala semata. Menuntut ilmu juga membutuhkan pengorbanan; baik yang terkait dengan pengorbanan jasmani, waktu, jiwa atau pun harta. Maka jika Allah Ta'ala menyatukan pada diri seorang hamba, antara niat yang ikhlas dan pengorbanan terhadap hal-hal yang kami sebutkan, berarti Allah Ta'ala akan mudahkan baginya segala hal yang sulit.

📝 Dan merupakan keniscayaan bagi siapa pun, apabila ilmu tidak didapati di daerahnya sendiri, hendaknya dia mengadakan perjalanan untuk menuntut ilmu.

📝 Seorang yang alim, dia mengajarkan manusia dengan tingkah lakunya, ucapannya, serta sikapnya. Maka sudah sepatutnya bagi seorang penuntut ilmu, agar menjadi teladan dalam segala urusannya, dan tidak berucap maupun bersikap melainkan di atas petunjuk dan cahaya ilahi.

📝 Maka kesimpulannya; saat sekarang ini kita sama sekali tidak kekurangan referensi, tidak kekurangan dalam masalah guru dan juga waktu, semua ini adalah hal yang mudah dan dapat dipenuhi, segala puji hanya milik Allah. Akan tetapi yang kita butuhkan adalah ketakwaan. Yang kita butuhkan adalah kemauan untuk mencurahkan kesungguhan kita, semampu kita, sehingga kita bisa memetik buah dari tanaman yang kita tanam. 

Wallahua'lam bishowab. 

***

Keterangan: Resume dari buku tersebut dibuat karena sempat tersisih saat ikut RSC (Rahmah Study Club). I don't want to lose the chance to read and learn this book, even if my reading space is way more slow than the community's members.

Baca juga:

Faktor-Faktor Penghalang dalam Menuntut Ilmu 

Beberapa Contoh Kesungguhan Ulama Memanfaatkan Waktu 

Kesempatan yang Sering Disia-siakan oleh Sebagian Penuntut Ilmu

Bismillah.

*Disclaimer* : Postingan ini full bahasa inggris. Semacam nukil buku. Sebenarnya ini aku ambil dari chat diskusiku ke temen di hellotalk.

Kalau sebelumnya bahas novel (As Long As Lemon Trees Grow), dan agak gimana kalau di post di blog, karena bakal banyak spoiler. (But maybe I'll post some of it).

Kali ini aku memutuskan baca buku Master Your Dopamine - Nick Trenton. Setiap aku chat hasil bacaku ke temen baca hellotalk, in syaa Allah aku share juga di sini. Biar blognya gak sepi hehe.

Oh ya, mohon maaf sebelumnya kalau banyak salah grammar atau miskin kosakata. Feel free to comment to correct me, or share your opinion regarding the books. Boleh diskusi pakai bahasa Indonesia juga.

***

​I start reading "Master Your Dopamine".

My reading pace for non fiction might be slower.

I only read 10 pages. But I got a lot to take notes.​

First of all, I'm interested in this book because some weeks ago I join like one day class of psychology about addiction. And of course it talks about dopamine.

In that class, it is mentioned that of someone has addiction, they might experience dopamine deficit because the abnormal dynamic production of their dopamine.

Now back to the book.

First the author mention that to break free from addiction long term, there are 2 elements we need to pay attention:

Physiological & Psychological elements.

The author doesn't explore much yet, maybe I'll read it in the later part of this book.

For the psychological element, I learn it a little from my previous one day class.

And the physiological element, it's a new term for me. I need to study it more.

The only familiar term I know is physiotherapy, which usually given to someone after accident, or some disease. I do have experience physiotherapy for Bell's palsy after fall from motorcycle years ago.

But I don't know how it can be connected to dopamine or addiction in general, do they need physiotherapy too? I don't know.

***

Wow it's already long.. hmm.

I'll just write other point and not comment about them.

You can share some comment about these points, cause I think I might need other's perspective.

◾ To rebalance the production of dopamine, we need to do dopamine detox (cutting out processed& sugary food, make healthy changes in lifestyle)

◾ The release of domapine is not because of the reward itself, but the anticipation to get the reward.

◾ It's easy to get caught in dopamine loop if we have no moderation (in doing something that activate the release of dopamine)

◾ Dopamine actually has 2 complimentary system: "liking" system and "wanting" system. We must be wary, if the "wanting" system outperform the "liking" system.

◾ The dopamine loop is activates and maintained with cue system (it could be sound/visual) --- better to off notifications.

◾ Variable reward vs fixed reward. What makes people stay in social media/game/gambling is the variable reward that is giving surprising effect and it makes people want to come back.

***

That's all from 10 pages that I read. Have you read or learn something about dopamine? Do you have something to say about it?

Jangan ragu untuk berbagi ya.. aku terbuka juga kalau ada yang mau sharing tentang topik ini dalam bahasa Indonesia~

Oh ya.. aku kepikiran juga buat mindahin diskusi bukuku dari bottle ke blog.

Cuma mungkin effortnya agak berat hehe. Atau aku pilih screenshot aja? Entahlah. Gak janji ya.. ini cuma nulis wacana aja. Bantu doa ya~

Bye~ semangat baca meski sedikit dan pelan. Start from a page now!

Wallahu'alam.

***

PS: aku nulis postingan ini via browser hp. Semoga tampilannya gak kacau. Semoga bermanfaat!

Bismillah.

Kadang, jawaban doa kita dari Allah itu.. bentuknya bener-bener di luar perkiraan. Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Wa lailaha ilallahu Allahu akbar! ^^

Rasanya sudah lama aku menulis di sini kebutuhanku akan komunitas baca yang bisa diskusi. Sempet curcol di Aksara, trus malah disindir, disuruh buat komunitas offline di Purwokerto. Giliran udah ada nih... Book Party di Purwokerto, lumayan rutin juga hampir tiap Ahad, tapi ternyata aku-nya yang gak bisa hadir karena Ahad pagi itu udah kekunci jadwalnya. Cuma gabung di grup wa-nya Book Mates Purwokerto, tapi grupnya gak hidup, kebanyakan orang jualan buku aja, gak ada diskusi buku. Ya.. wajar sih, wong udah ada pertemuan di akhir pekan, ngapain juga diskusi di grup hmm. Pernah ngajakin barangkali ada yang bisa diajak diskusi buku di weekday, tapi ... gak banyak yang menanggapi. krik-krik. Ya sudahlah, tetap di grup, silent reader, berharap semoga suatu saat berkesempatan hadir.

Dan seperti yang sudah aku ceritakan di postingan sebelum-sebelumnya, aku belum lama ini install aplikasi Bottled dan HelloTalk. Alhamdulillah dari sana dapet temen diskusi dan baca buku.

Teman Baca Buku dan Diskusi dari Bottled

Kalau dari bottled, awalnya ketemu di island (grup) hijabi. Ada muslimah asal Bangladesh bilang mau buat private island (grup privat, gak bisa di search kaya grup umum) fokus bahas buku.

Dari situ, aku jadi baca buku Ad' Da wa Ad' Dawa (Penyakit dan Obatnya/ Disease and The Cure) - Ibnu Qayyim.

Gak cuma itu.. aku juga diajakin baca buku Thinking, Fast and Slow - Daniel Kahneman, PT Gramedia Pustaka Utama. Jujur, buku ini.. kalau gak ada temennya, gak bakal aku tahan buat baca hehe. Oh ya, sistem baca dan diskusinya juga cocok sama aku. Karena dibebasin pace baca masing-masing. Dan kalau ada yang mau di sharing, bisa langsung ke grup chat. Aku yang baru baca 36 halaman, bisa dengan ringan dan gak ngerasa bersalah lapor cuma baca 2 halaman per 3 hari, dan sharing apa yang kudapat atau apa yang aku bingung, atau hal yang ingin aku diskusikan.

Oke, gak cukup 2 buku itu dari Ukhti Bangladesh. Ada buku rekomendasi baru, diajakin baca bareng bukunya Ibnu Khaldun yang berjudul Muqaddimah. Kali ini, yang ngajakin Ukhti Bandung. Ya Allah jujur jadi kangen bandung, pas beliau cerita tiap pekan dateng dan bahas buku itu baik dari bahasa arab dan bahasa indonesia. I wish I was there too. Memang bener ya, di Bandung semangat literasinya..

Oh ya, tapi buku Ibnu Khaldun Muqaddimah.. aku belum mulai baca. Aku, dengan keterbatasan pengetahuanku memutuskan untuk baca biografi Ibnu Khaldun dulu, tapi biografi Ibnu Khaldun yang di buku anak hehe. Alhamdulillah malem ini baca, cuma 50-an halaman full gambar ilustrasi, bilingual, selesai juga. Oh ya, bukunya aku pinjem di iPusnas. Ini judulnya: Ibnu Khaldun (Bapak Sosiologi Islam) - Yoli Hemdi, Luxima. Ini merupakan salah satu buku seri Ilmuwan Muslim.

Teman Baca Buku dan Diskusi dari HelloTalk

Qadarullah dipertemukan dengan orang-orang suka baca. Pertama temen dari korea, yang sering buka VR (voice room) membacakan buku bahasa korea. Trus aku minta foto halamannya sebagian, buat di pelajari. Jadi deh, aku baca buku Essai tentang Cinta. Lumayan buat buka perspektif baru sekaligus belajar bahasa korea.

Yang kedua, aku lupa awalnya dari VR atau gimana. Tapi aku dapet QR grupnya, dan aku masuk. Trus aku juga minta admin grupnya untuk share link gdrive buku yang didiskusikan. Dan ternyata ada buku As Long As The Lemon Trees Grow - Zoulfa Katouh, Little, Brown and Company. Pas banget karena sebelumnya aku sempat membaca bab 1-nya di perpus AABS. Dari situ tiap baca beberapa chapter, aku share komentar dan hal yang ingin aku diskusikan. Sebenarnya awalnya aku baca novel ini pengennya sambil belajar bahasa inggris (mencatat kosakata baru dan artinya), tapi... setelah 12 bab, akhirnya aku memilih untuk menyerah, dan fokus baca dan menikmati ceritanya aja. Diskusi-nya masih kok. Walau pas di akhir-akhir, cuma aku aja yang bermonolog, sepertinya ybs sedang sibuk atau udah kebanyakan yang chat jadi pesanku tenggelam. It's okay, yang penting, aku ada tempat buat ngobrolin buku. Semoga tidak dianggap spam hehe.

Oh ya, aku juga jadi baca Atomic Habit. Ini sebenarnya terinspirasi dari teman hellotalk dari china, yang baca keras atomic habit buat melatih pronounciationnya. Aku ngikutin juga, bedanya aku direkam di telegram di channel privat, bukan di VR HT (Voice Room Hello Talk). Dan jujur malu, karena meski ini salah satu buku pertama yang aku baca karena hellotalk, tapi aku baru baca belasan halaman. Tapi seperti motivasi dari Atomic Habit, gapapa sedikit, tapi harusnya dijadwalkan dan dijadiin habit. Bantu doa yaa.. Oh ya, minusku tuh, kalau read aloud, ada yang bingung, aku milih ngarang pronounciationnya ketimbang cari tahu yang bener wkwkwk. what a bad learner i am ><

Satu lagi, ini bukan temen diskusi sih. Tapi aku nemu ada orang korea yang baca buku Laskar Pelangi versi korea, dan membagikan beberapa halamannya di moment-nya (semacam timeline di profilnya). Dan aku jadi bisa belajar bahasa korea juga dari halaman yang ia bagikan itu. Jujur lumayan refresh ulang memoriku, meski aku dulu sudah pernah selesai baca Laskar Pelangi.

***

Alhamdulillah.. atas rencana Allah. Semoga kedepannya, bisa ketemu lebih banyak teman-teman baik yang bisa diajak diskusi buku dan sharing ilmu. Semoga sosial media bottled dan hellotalk pisaunya bisa kupakai dengan baik tanpa melukaiku hehe. Karena jujur, sosial media semacam instagram sekarang bener-bener bikin brainrot, susah fokus baca, belum lagi polusi audionya. Kalau di bottled free polusi audio. hellotalk, bisa pilih VR yang sesuai, atau buka VR sendiri sesuai kebutuhan. It's okay to read aloud alone, at least you're anonym and you become focus on reading.

Anyway, sekian... Nice to meet you all! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu! こちらこそよろしくお願いします