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Showing posts with label transkrip. Show all posts

Friday, September 12, 2025

You're not Expected to Save Gaza neither Indonesia nor The World

You're not Expected to Save Gaza neither Indonesia nor The World

September 12, 2025 0 Comments

Bismillah.

 

I stumble upon this videos on @thefutureofcongo, and I am moved to write the transcript of the video.

 

 

*** 


Since when did "small" means useless?



With the current genocide that is taking place in Gaza… the famine and the war in Sudan, the continuous suffering of innocent people in Congo and the situation of all opressed people around the world--


there's this feeling a lot of us get. that we are supposed to do something huge. That if what we do doesn't end the war or feed thousands of people, then there's no point.


I think the problem is that, we have been taught to judge things purely based off of result, and that is a very problematic framework. Because nowhere in the Quran, nor the Prophetic tradition are we told that Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala judges us based on what we accomplished.


But Allah does say in the Quran that, "There is nothing for man, except for what he strives for".


So the point is effort, not accomplishment. This might be harsh to say, but you're not expected to save Gaza -- nor are you expected to end the war in Sudan, or rebuild the Congo.


But you are expected to care, you are expected to try, and you are expected to do something-- even if it seems little or insignificant.


We act not because we are guaranteed results-- but because there's a moral and spiritual obligation. Even if you don't see the fruits of your seeds.


The Prophet Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wasalam says that if the day of judgement is established, and a person has a sapling in his hand, and he is able to plant it… then he should plant it. It’s the day of judgement!! You will probably not see the fruits of what you've just planted, but you are still commanded to do so.


Hajar 'alaihi salam did not find Zamzam water by sitting down and crying. She ran through Safa, and Marwa multiple times looking, and seeking for water. And Allah Subhanahu wata'ala blessed her with water, not through her running, but because of it. That is sa'y-- that is effort.


Maryam 'alaihi salam during childbirth, was commanded by Allah Subhanahu wata'ala that she should shake the trunk of the tree towards her-- realistically speaking, not a single human being much less a woman in labour would be able to shake a trunk of a tree to the point that dates would fall from it… the point of the command was not the shaking of the tree, it was about the effort, it was about obeying Allah Subhanahu wata'ala, and most importantly trusting him.


I highly recommended that everybody looks up the concept of Sa'y in Islam, it’s really profound and beautiful. One of the other dillemas we fall into in this regards is we feel discouraged when we don't see an immediate result in the things that we do. But the question is; Are you serving the cause or are you just addicted to seeing the results of your actions? Because I'm sorry to say bro, but.. It's not about you!!


Sumaya radhi Allahu anha never got to see Medina. 

The companions who died during the Battle of Badr and the Battle of Uhud never got to see the Conquest of Mecca.

Does that mean that they failed? Definitely not! We look up to them, we name our children after them, and we say about them radhi Allahu anhum. Because it's never about the accomplishment, it's about the effort.

I say to you: "Share that post to your story, repost the video, talk about it in your school, try and bring as much awareness as you can about all these situations and many others and know that if you died trying, you died successful!

 

***

 

Aku juga coba nerjemahin transkrip di atas, tapi manual dan banyak kekurangan. Barangkali ada yang mau baca, boleh juga dikoreksi kalau ada yang salah.

 

***


Sejak kapan hal kecil berarti sia-sia?


Dengan kondisi genosida terkini di Gaza… kelaparan dan perang di Sudan, dan penderitaan berpanjang pada penduduk di Kongo dan situasi dari semua rakyat yang tertindas di seluruh dunia--


Ada hal seperti ini yang banyak dari kita rasakan. Bahwa kita seharusnya melakukan sesuatu yang besar. Bahwa jika apa yang kita lakukan tidak menghentikan perang atau memberi makan ribuan orang, maka semua sia-sia.


Masalah utamanya adalah, kita terbiasa diajarkan untuk menghakimi sesuatu hanya berdasarkan hasil, dan itu adalah kerangka pemikiran yang sangat bermasalah. Karena tidak ada dalam Al Quran atau sunnah Rasulullah yang mana kita diberitahu bahwa Allah subhanahu wata'ala menghakimi kita berdasarkan pencapaian kita.


Tapi Allah menyebutkan dalam Quran bahwa, "Seorang manusia tiada memperoleh selain apa yang telah diusahakannya". (An Najm ayat 39)


Jadi poinnya adalah usaha/ikhtiar, bukan pencapaian. Dan ini mungkin agak kasar untuk dikatakan, tapi kamu tidak diharapkan untuk menyelamatkan Gaza -- (atau Indonesia -pen) atau diharapkan untuk mengakhiri perang di Sudan, atau membangun Kongi.


Tapi kamu diharapkan untuk peduli, kamu diharapkan untuk berusaha, dan kamu diharapkan untuk melakukan sesuatu-- bahkan jika itu terlihat kecil atau tidak signifikan.


Kita melakukan sesuatu bukan karena kita punya jaminan akan hasilnya-- tapi karena ada kewajiban moral dan spiritual. Bahkan jika kamu tidak melihat buah dari benih yang kau tanam.


Rasulullah shallallahu 'alaihi wasalam bersabda bahwa jika hari kiamat terjadi, dan seseorang memiliki biji/benih di tangannya, dan ia mampu untuk menanamnya… maka ia harus menanamnya. Padahal itu hari kiamat!! Kamu mungkin tidak akan melihat buah dari apa yang baru kau tanam, tapi kamu masih diperintahkan untuk melakukan itu.



Hajar 'alaihi salam tidak menemukan air Zamzam dengan duduk diam dan menangis. Ia berlari di antara Safa dan Marwa beberapa kali untuk mencari air. Dan Allah Subhanahu wata'ala memberikan rahmat padanya dengan air, bukan melalui larinya, tapi karena itu. Itulah yang disebut sa-i -- itu adalah usaha.



Maryam 'alaihi salam saat proses melahirkan, ia diperintahkan Allah Subhanahu wata'ala untuk menggoyangkan batang pohon ke arahnya -- jika bicara realistis, tidak ada seorang manusia, lebih lagi seorang wanita yang sedang melahir dapat menggoyangkan batang pohon sampai buah kurma jatuh darinya… poin utama dari perintahnya bukan menggoyangkan pohon, ini tentang usaha, ini tentang menuruti perintah Allah Subhanallah wata'ala, dan yang terpenting percaya dan yakin pada-Nya.


Saya sangat merekomendasikan setiap orang untuk mencari tahu dan memahami konsep Sa-i dalam Islam, konsep ini sangat mendalam dan indah. Salah satu diantara berbagai dilema yang kita tenggelam di dalamnya adalah kita merasa putus asa saat kita tidak melihat hasil langsung/hasil yang segera pada hal yang kita lakukan. Tapi pertanyaannya adalah; apakah kamu melakukan sesuatu untuk tujuan tertentu, atau untuk melihat hasil dari apa yang kamu lakukan? Karena, maaf untuk mengatakannya, tapi ini bukan tentangmu!!



Sumaya radhiyallahu anha tidak pernah melihat Madinah.



Para sahabat radhiyallahu anhum yang syahid dalam Perang Badar dan Perang uhud tidak pernah menyaksikan peristiwa Penaklukan Mekah.



Apakah itu artinya mereka gagal? Tentu saja tidak! Kita mencontoh mereka, kita memberi nama anak-anak kita dengan nama mereka, dan kita menyebut mereka radhiyallahu anhum. Karena ini tidak pernah tentang pencapaian/hasil, ini tentang usaha/perjuangan.



Saya katakan padamu: "Bagian postingan itu di storymu, repost videonya, bicarakan tentang itu di sekolahmu, dan usahakan dan berikan awareness/kesadaran sebisa mungkin tentang situasi-situasi ini (Gaza, dll) dan ketahuilah bahwa jika kamu mati saat sedang berusaha, kamu mati dalam keadaan sukses."

 

***

 

Terakhir, penutup. Teruntuk setiap orang yang sering putus asa karena merasa tak berdaya, yang merasa usahanya terlalu kecil, yang masih begitu peduli melihat berbagai kejadian dan peristiwa di dunia dan Indonesia, tapi juga ragu apa yang harus dilakukan dan sering tergilas arus dan lupa untuk konsisten dalam usaha dan dosa sekecil apapun itu di matamu/di mata orang lain. Semoga Allah memudahkan kita untuk menjadi bagian dari yang berjuang dan berusaha, sungguh lebih baik menjadi debu, pasir, yang semoga jadi adonan semen yang baik untuk membangun peradaban. We might not see the result, but Allah never ignore any effort even the smallest and the hidden one.

 

Wallahua'lam bishowab. 
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Tuesday, May 12, 2020

The Path and Fruits of Guidance

May 12, 2020 0 Comments
Bismillah.

Transkrip video pendek penjelasan salah satu doa di surat Al Kahfi.


***
عَسَىٰٓ أَن يَهْدِيَنِ رَبِّى لِأَقْرَبَ مِنْ هَـٰذَا رَشَدًۭا…

(QS Al Kahfi [18] : 24)

 Now the last and what I considered the most beautiful part of this expression. 

 "Perhaps Allah will guide me", guide me to what? He says "li aqraba min hadzaa rasyadaa".

You know, the language of this is so profound. And in a khutbah I can't give you lessons, because you'll have a headache. So I'm going to try to make this as simple as I can.

In the Arabic language, sometimes you say "over there", and sometimes you say "all the way over there".

When you say "all the way over there", you're saying that I'm guiding you to your destination. If you just say "over there", maybe you get over there, then you have to go somewhere else and somewhere else, and somewhere else.

But if I say "all the way over there", then I've told you that "that's where you have to go, you don't have to go any further than that."

When the "lam" is used, "'asaa ayyahdiyani rabbii li aqraba min hadzaa rasyadaa", this "lam", what it suggests, this is a muntaha.  There's no higher thing to ask in this dunya. If you get this, there's nothing better to ask for.

If the word "ila" was used, then you get there, then you get to go for something else and go for something else. You see?

So what I'm asking Allah in this ayah, and what you're asking Allah in this ayah, is for something that if you have it there's nothing better. It is the ultimate end.

Now what is that ultimate end?

He says,  "li aqraba min hadzaa", "closer than this"

"I hope Allah will guide me closer, all the way closer than this"

What is the word "this" mean? "This" means where I am right now.

Now let's understand what this means in simple language.  All of us, alhamdulillah, tsumma alhamdulillah have some degree of guidance, the fact that we're sitting in the house of Allah in jumuah means Allah have given us some guidance. Some people Allah has given more guidance, some Allah has given less guidance. Some have more knowledge, some have less knowledge. Some have better attention when they pray, some have less attention when they pray. We're not all on the same level, that's the fact.

But you know what's this du'a is telling you? My ultimate goal is to get closer to Allah than I am today. I am not here to compare myself to someone else. I am just here to compare myself from where I am right now. If I can just work on getting better than what I am right now, that is the ultimate success before Allah. There is no higher success.

You will never become perfect, I will never become perfect. All we can work on is becoming a little bit better, and then a little bit better, and then a little bit better. Just getting a little closer to Allah, and a little closer. And if a person dies becoming closer to Allah,  they are successful.


A lot of people, you know what they do? They compare themselves to others.

 "Wow, this one's already memorized the entire Quran"

 "Look at how they recite"

 "They're at the Masjid every single day"

 "They're there before the Adhan is even called"

 "They're worshipping Allah so much more"

 "They're so much more knowledgeable"

 "They know so much more, they know Arabic, they know tafseer, they know this, they know that"

 You know? Or "they dress better as Muslims than I do"
You know, don't compare yourself to anybody else. That's not what Allah wants.

 Allah is not going to put you next to someone else and compare. He doesn't even want you to compare yourself to others in dunya, forget akhirah. Not even in dunya.
لَا تَتَمَنَّوْا۟ مَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بِهِۦ بَعْضَكُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ ۚ ..

(QS An-Nisa [4] ayat 32)
Don't wish for what other people have, what Allah has given some preference over others. Don't do that to yourself.

So what are we learning then? We're learning that… if for example you're starting to recite Quran today,  you're 35 years old, you haven't read it. You haven't even opened the book for 30 years, and you decide to start reading Quran today. You can't even get through bismillah, you don't even know what a "ba" looks like anymore. Now you have to learn like children.

There are people who are your age you can read like adults, but you have to read like a child, but that's okay. That's okay. When you learn even that "alif" or that "ba", and you make a little bit struggle closer to Allah and you died that way, maybe you're better than even an alim. Maybe you're better than a Hafidzul Quran, who memorize the whole book but has no appreciation, didn't want to make themselves a better person. Because who wants to make themselves a better person is in the heart, and Allah knows that.

So don't underestimate where you are with Allah. People can underestimate you. Allah does not underestimate you. People make it sound like guidance from Allah is hard, it's expensive it doesn't come easy. And Allah is opening the doors of it wide open. He's just asking you and me to embrace it and say, "Ya Allah guide me, bring me a little closer to Yourself"

"li aqraba min hadzaa rasyadan", in terms of uprightness, in terms of guidance.

The last word of this ayah, "rasyadan" is actually acknowledges, that the the fact that you're making this du'a, means that you're already on some guidance, that you shouldn't say that I'm misguided. It already acknowledged that. The fact that Allah gave you the ability to make this du'a itself is a gift of guidance from him. And Allah will give you more, and He will give you more, and He will give you more. This is the optimism of the Muslim.

When guidance comes in this world, then tuma'ninah come. You know ithminan comes. Our heart becomes tranquil.
أَلَا بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ ٱلْقُلُوبُ…

(QS. Ar-Ra'd [13] ayat 28]

 This is what I want to conclude with. When a heart becomes tranquil, when a heart becomes at peace, than the people around that person, they're also …. that the peace is infectious, that Iman is infectious.

 Peace spreads in the family, peace spreads among friends, peace spreads in a community, when guidance comes.

 If the problem of the world is is conflict, hatred. If the problem of the world is war, then the solution to that is not other policies or more weapons. That's not the solution. It's not economic sanctions. What humanity needs is guidance. Because without guidance, you can't have peace .you just can't.
فَأَىُّ ٱلْفَرِيقَيْنِ أَحَقُّ بِٱلْأَمْنِ ۖ إِن كُنتُمْ تَعْلَمُونَ…

[Surat Al-An'am (6) ayat 81]

ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَلَمْ يَلْبِسُوٓا۟ إِيمَـٰنَهُم بِظُلْمٍ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ لَهُمُ ٱلْأَمْنُ وَهُم مُّهْتَدُونَ

[Surat Al-An'am (6) ayat 82]

 Fa-ayyul fariiqaini ahaqqu bil amni inkuntum ta'lamun, alladziina aamanuu
Who deserves more peace? Those who believe, those who came to Iman. This is what we're asking Allah Azza wajall. 

 When you and I make du'a for peace in the world, for peace in the Muslim lands, for peace for those who are oppressed. When we make those du'as then we're actually directly asking Allah to increase us and the world around us in guidance.
May Allah Azza wa jall increase all of us in guidance, and make us of those who are positive about their future, their own future, the future of their children, the future of this Ummah and the future of the world over. This entire world, we have to be concerned for it, not just our own Ummah. The entire world. We are the millah Ibrahim alayhi salam. Ibrahim alayhis salam used to be concerned for all of humanity. That is the legacy that we've inherited. So we have to be optimistic about the entire world. May allah so it'll make us that way. And make our future generation a beaming example of what it means to live the beautiful teachings of this book.

***

PS: Mohon koreksi jika ada kesalahan.
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Friday, September 27, 2019

Waste of Talent

September 27, 2019 0 Comments
Bismillah.

-Muhasabah Diri-

Sebuah pengingat untuk diri. Dari Quran for Young Adults Day 6. Bayyinah.tv.

***


Another comment that might be hurtful but I think it's important. Cause I personally do feel the effects on it. It's that Fir'aun, the Pharaoh was an incredibly oppressive human being. He decided that He does not want a generation of young man to raise in Egypt, you know, of the Israelites, because too many of them will create ruckus and they will stand up against the tyranny of the King. So he did it to control the population of young man. So he would kill every other year he killed all the baby boys. That was his policy. Kill all the baby boys every other year. And question arises, why not every year? Well because he still needs some population to be his future slaves. So he doesn't want to get rid all the man, but he wants to keep the population down. Because too many young man, and you might have a revolution on your hands. Right?

Nowadays, you don't actually have to kill babies every other year to keep the population of man from becoming too high. You can just keep them from ever turning into man. You can just keep them stays at kid, keep them as boys by just handing them an iPad, and an iPad mini, and, you know, PS whatever. Just when they're like 3 years old. And they'll hold on to that sucker until they're like 25. Sitting on their couch playing video games,  all day. Watching movies all day. And not getting a job, not taking from their college life seriously. They're not taking their career seriously. Not taking their religion seriously. Not taking anything in life seriously.

I'm actually seeing cases like this. Parents have come up to me, "Ustad you need to talk to our son, he's 27 years old, he stays home all day, he yells at his mother, he watches video games, he's in movies, it's all he does. He's dropped out of school. He's doing nothing with his life. This is a new phenomenon. And he's not motivated to do anything."

You don't have to kill that kind of a boy. He's not a threat to any injustice in society. He's not gonna be a contributor. He's not gonna speak out against any kind of wrong in societies. He's as good as…. He's a about as mobile as the furniture he's sitting on. You know? What a waste of talent. 

What a waste of talent. You know?

The young generation has to realize the power it possessed. And young generation also has to realize the dangerous it's in. The danger you guys are in, is because we are living in time where entertainment is so widely accessible and so infinite. There is no end. You know, life time will end, and the numbers of movies will not. Your life time will end, and the numbers of video games will not. You will never have played all of them. Never. There's still gonna be more. Which means you can spent your entire life wasted away in this. And then your life amount will meant nothing. You know? This is why being from the ulul albab is so important. 

***

Sudahkah kita paham apa yang kita miliki? Nikmat yang Allah beri? Waktu, kemampuan otak kita, fisik kita yang sehat, dll?

Sudahkah kita waspada terhadap ancaman dan godaan yang menyerang dari segala sisi?

Maukah kita menginfakkannya di jalan Allah? Untuk kebaikan diri kita sendiri?

***
Wasma'u wa athi'u wa anfiqu, and listen and obey and spend, khairan li anfusikum, all of that is good for yourself. That's good for you. Listening is good for you, this right now, what are you doing? Listening, It's good for you. But after listening, what you have to do? Obeying, that's good for you. And then, you have to spend up on it. You have youth which means you have time, spend up on your time. Your parents they have money, spend up on your money. You have talents, spend up on your talent. And all of that you would do for whose good? Your own good. Allah doesn't benefit, you benefit. 
Nouman Ali Khan, Quran For Young Adults Day 9

Allahua'lam.

PS: hasil listening sendiri, mohon koreksinya kalau ada yang salah. disarankan nonton langsung serialnya, lebih dapet feel-nya kalau dengerin langsung daripada baca.
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Monday, June 24, 2019

Company in Paradise - Amazed by The Quran

June 24, 2019 0 Comments
Bismillah.

#transkrip


Transkrip video pendek seri Amazed by The Quran oleh Ustadz Nouman Ali Khan: Company in Paradise

***

Assalamu'alaikum everyone welcome to amazed by the quran, a series in which I love sharing with you things I find amazing about the Quran. And today in syaa Allah, it sounds giggy but I'll talk to you about the difference between singular and plural in the quran. And actually sometimes different kind of plulars are in the quran, which yeah it sounds gramatical but I'll make sure that it's easy, easy to understand.

Casual Friend and Intimate Close Friend


First case is actually the description of judgement day, Allah says about people who are lamenting on judgement day. They're about to be thrown into devastation, they didn't make it to heaven. And they're saying, fama lana min syafi'in wala shadiqin hamim. We don't have people that are going to make a case for us, we don't have any friend that is intimate and close.

 فَمَا لَنَا مِنْ شَافِعِينَ (100) وَلا صَدِيقٍ حَمِيمٍ (101 

QS Asy-Syuara ayat 100-101

Now in this language, the first group that they complain they don't have in their favor, on their side is syafi'in which is plural, people who will make a case for us. And then they say, we don't have a single friend that is close to us, shadiqin hamim, an intimate close friend. So they go from people who make a case for us, which is plural, to a single friend which is really powerful.

Because, you know when you ask somebody, "Hey, what do you think of this person?"

"You're alright, they're cool"

You can find a lots of people that are "okay" with you. They don't know you well enough.

"And they're seems like a good person".

That's a syafi' that's someone who came and said, "Yeah, you know what? You're not that bad."

But then to find someone who's closed and intimate, and knows you deeply well and then care about your well-being and stops and tries to plead on your behave that,

"please don't let him go into the hell fire"

"I'll vouch for him", etc.

There's not gonna be a lot of people. There's not a single one.

So the one that tend to have many of, the plural is used. And the one that just, maybe if you find one, that would mean a lot, the singular is used. And there's an immediate switch from the plural to the singular. It's very powerful and beautiful.

Fama lana min syafi'in wa la shadiqin hamim. And in doing so, Allah doesn't just describe something that happen on the judgment day. As a matter of fact He described the matter of relationship. Casual relationship where people will have good opinion of you, are lots of them. There's acquaintances that thinks highly of you, or think okay of you. They don't have a poor opinion of you. They're syafi'.

 But then, to have people vouch for you, that are the closest most intimate friend, that's actually a testimony of character. Because people that are very very close to you, they know your flaws, they don't just know the good thing about you. Right? So when they speak highly of you, that's actually means something. That's actually genuinely means something when they speak highly of you.

So that's kind of settle lesson that's taught just by the switch between the plural and the singular.

Company in Paradise


Another example of the plural and the singular that I find really beautiful  is actually about again the day of judgment. Where there's a comparison made between heaven and hell. And in describing heaven.

تِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ وَمَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ يُدْخِلْهُ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهارُ خالِدِينَ فِيها وَذلِكَ الْفَوْزُ الْعَظِيمُ (13) وَمَنْ يَعْصِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَيَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَهُ يُدْخِلْهُ نَارًا خالِداً فِيها وَلَهُ عَذابٌ مُهِينٌ (14

QS An Nisa ayat 13-14

Allah said, yudkhilhu jannatin tajri min tahtihal anhar kholidina fiha. So it begins with, whoever would obey Allah and the messenger, which is singular. Whoever would obey Allah and His messenger,  wa man yuthi-illah wa rasulahu yudkhilhu, He will entered him, all singular. Entered him, not entered them, entered him. Jannatin tajri min tahtihal anhar. In gardens at the bottom of which even at the bottom, from the very bottom from which rivers flow. Kholidina fiha. In which they will remain forever. So, he will be entered, He will enter him into the garden, but they will remain in it forever. Kholidina, it's an immediate switch.

And if you compared this to the next ayah, wa man ya'shillaha warasulahu wayata'adda khududahu yudhilhu naaran, khalidan fiiha. Whoever would disobey Allah and His Messenger and crossed the limit that they've said, He will entered him into the fire, in which he will remain.

So there's they will remain, and then there's he will remain. Immediate switch, right? So what's really fascinating even about the first one is, it's started with he. Like, He will enter this person into heaven, where they will remain. So it went from he to they. And the second one was he and then still remain he. So I want you to appreciate this switch that happen, especially when talking about heaven.

Allah is describing the scenario of someone who didn't have much company in this life. Perhaps because of their faith they were left alone. Perhaps because of their faith, everybody around them abandoned them. Their family disown them, their friends left away from them.

And maybe even if they were around muslims, they were the only one who took islam seriously or something. And as a result they felt isolated. They felt pushed away from other people. And these are people who did not let go of their commitment to good deeds and obedience to Allah and His messenger, regardless of the pressure that came. Regardless of the isolation that they felt.

And Allah want the first gift when He entered him into the gardens, into the gardens of heaven, in jannah, is that they're in a company. They're never gonna be alone again. They will remain. So Allah actually pushed them into plurality.

 He gives them a new family. He gives them company, things that they lost out or missed out on as a result of their islam, as a result of their submission. Subhanallah.

Also additionally the subtlety here being told that one of the joy of heaven is company. One of the joy of jannah is actually friends hanging out with each other, talking to each other. Fa aqbala ba'duhum 'ala ba'din yatasa-alun (QS Ash Shaffat ayat 50). They're gonna be facing one another, asking each other all kind of question,

"man, where have you been? Haven't seen you forever"

"oh, you made it too ha?"

like things like that^^

But you know that we're asking each other, hanging out. They're gonna be reminiscing about old times. Inna kunna qablu fi ahlina musyfiqin. (QS Ath Thur ayat 26)

"Man, we used to have such a hard time with our family, man.."

Literally there're ayat like that in the quran. Like they're reminiscing about old times. And that's one of the joy of heaven.

Solitude in Hellfire


On the other end though, Allah is describing the disbeliever, no matter how much he thinks he has company, no matter how many people he or she surround themselves with, no matter how many people are dancing around with them in the club, they're actually always alone. They never genuinely have someone with them. A relationship that will last. You know?

It's not just any disbeliever, the one who violates Allah and His messenger. We're not just talking about any non-muslim there. We're talking about culprit's who go on their way to disobey Allah and His messenger. They take the one thing that'll give them peace, they never find peace in other people's company. They just don't. They're always have only for themselves. And when it happens, like one of the torment of hell from them, is that they are in it and they feel like they're the only one in it.

You know, one of the worst kind of prison, even in this world, is solitary confinement. Prison in itself is torture, but on top of that, the solitude and the loneliness that is imposed on you, for months on it, you lose track of time, people lose their sanity as a result.

And that's actually the feeling these people get. There's not even the consolation,

'at least I'm not the only one being burned'

'At least I'm not the only one being punished.'

No it's not like that. They're gonna feel like they're the only one. Kholidan fiiha. Walahum 'adzabun muhin. And he will have humiliating punishment. May Allah not makes us from those who are punished.

So these are just a couple of examples of the singular and the plural, and how these quick switches create such beautiful lessons, and such powerful insights.

Barakallahuli wa lakum, assalamu'alaikum. See you next time.

***

Allahua'lam.
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Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Doa yang Pasti Dikabulkan

March 12, 2019 0 Comments
Bismillah.

sumber: grup Komunitas NAK Indonesia

Orang-orang stuck, kamu stuck, saya stuck. Kita tidak bisa menemukan jalan keluar dalam beberapa momen. Momen yang sukar tersebut sebenarnya adalah cara Allah memberikan pada kita, hadiah paling berharga yang bisa kita dapatkan. Itulah cara Allah membimbing hati kita, mengarahkan hati kita. Jika kita bisa memanfaatkan momen tersebut untuk menemukan Allah. Untuk berbincang pada Allah, di momen sulit tersebut, dan kita tidak harus bisa bahasa arab untuk melakukan itu. Kita tidak perlu tahu banyak ayat Al Quran, untuk melakukan itu (berbicara dan berbincang denganNya). Kita hanya perlu menghadap kepada Allah, kemudian berkata,

"Ya Allah, Engkaulah Sebaik-baik Pembuat Rencana.
Ya Allah, tidak ada yang mencintaiku seperti Engkau mencintaiku, tidak ada yang peduli padaku seperti Engkau peduli padaku.
Aku tahu situasi ini yang terbaik untukku, maka bimbinglah aku, aku membutuhkan petunjuk dan bimbingan-Mu"

Tidak mungkin Allah menolak permintaan kita, saat kita menghadap padaNya dan benar-benar meminta petunjukNya.

Kita meminta mobil kepada Allah, IA mungkin tidak memberikannya. Kita bisa meminta rumah pada Allah, namun IA tidak memberikannya. Kita mungkin meminta kesembuhan penyakit kita, namun IA tidak memberikannya. Mungkin Allah memberikannya, atau tidak memberikannya. Karena Allah mengetahui mana yang lebih baik untuk kita. 

Tapi satu hal yang pasti IA berikan kepada kita, saat kita meminta dengan tulis padaNya, adalah petunjuk dan bimbinganNya.

-Nouman Ali Khan

***


People are stuck, you're stuck, I'm stuck. In some situations, we don't see a way out. Those difficult situation are actually Allah's way of giving us the most valuable gift we can ever earn. His way of guarding our hearts. If we can just used those situation to find Allah in those situations. To talk to Allah in those situations, and you don't have to know Arabic to do that. You don't have to know a lot of Quran to do that. You just turn to Allah, and you say,

"Ya Allah, YOU're the best planner,
Ya Allah, nobody loves me like YOU do, nobody cares me like YOU do.
I know this situation is the best for me, guide me, I need YOUR guidance."

There's no way that you will turn to Allah and you really asking Him for guidance and He will turn you away.

You'll ask Allah for a car, He may not give you. You can ask Allah for a house, He may not give you. You might ask Allah to cure your disease, He might not. Maybe He will, maybe He won't. Cause He knows what's better for you.

But one thing guaranteed He will give you when you ask Him sincerely is His Guidance.

-Nouman Ali Khan

***

Keterangan: terjemahannya ga literal, ada beberapa perubahan yang semoga tidak mengubah konteks.
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Friday, November 23, 2018

The Quranic Essence of Parenting

November 23, 2018 0 Comments
Bismillah.


Transkrip khutbah dari ustadz Nouman Ali Khan: The Quranic Essence of Parenting

***

وَالَّذِي قَالَ لِوَالِدَيْهِ أُفٍّ لَكُمَا أَتَعِدَانِنِي أَنْ أُخْرَجَ وَقَدْ خَلَتِ الْقُرُونُ مِنْ قَبْلِي وَهُمَا يَسْتَغِيثَانِ اللَّهَ وَيْلَكَ آمِنْ إِنَّ وَعْدَ اللَّهِ حَقٌّ فَيَقُولُ مَا هَذَا إِلا أَسَاطِيرُ الأوَّلِينَ (17) أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ حَقَّ عَلَيْهِمُ الْقَوْلُ فِي أُمَمٍ قَدْ خَلَتْ مِنْ قَبْلِهِمْ مِنَ الْجِنِّ وَالإنْسِ إِنَّهُمْ كَانُوا خَاسِرِينَ (18) وَلِكُلٍّ دَرَجَاتٌ مِمَّا عَمِلُوا وَلِيُوَفِّيَهُمْ أَعْمَالَهُمْ وَهُمْ لَا يُظْلَمُونَ (19

QS. Al Ahqaf ayat 17-19
Allahumma la taj'alna minadzalimin. Rabbishrahli sadri wa yassirli amri wahlu uqdatammillisani yafqahu qauli. Wallahumma tsabbitna indal mauti bi laa ilaha illallah. Wallahummaj'alna minalladzina amanu watawashau bil haqqi watawashau bishabri. Aamiin Ya Rabbal 'alamin.
Today's khutbah is inspired by an overwhelming number of parents that I have had conversations with, and I've had conversation with them here in the United States, here in our local community. I've had almost the same conversations in different part of Europe, also similarly the different parts of the Muslim world, the Arab world, even in places like Sri Lanka, or Malaysia. The conversation are somewhat different but overall they're exactly the same. And I wanted to take this opportunity in this khutbah to remind myself and to remind all the parents that are here, of a certain realities that Allah makes very very clear. They're not easy realities, but they are clear realities. This khutbah is dedicated to two audiences. It's dedicated on the one hand to parents and it's also on the other hand dedicated to their children, so those of you that are listening as parents also at the same time listen as offsprings of your parents.

Example not Theory about Parenting in Quran

Allah azza wajall describes in many places, the relationship between parents and children by the way of examples. So instead of talking about the theory of parenting, Allah gives many many case studied of parents and their children.

The Case of Ibrahim

So you have some amazing examples, for instance, you have the case of Ibrahim 'alaihi salam whose father and some argue uncle, but the linguistically still father. Azhar built idols, he actually the source of a lot of idol worship in his town. And his son grows up to be the great leader of the concept of tauhid, and the iman in Allah azza wajall, that all of faith, all of monotheistic faiths attributes themselves to in one way or the other. As a matter of fact, all of Islam is called the millata Abikum Ibrahim, the religion of your father Ibrahim. So on the one hand you have a pretty messed up dad, in simple language, and you have an amazing son. And it's not like the son had an amazing environment, a supportive environment where his iman fostered and things like that. It was a pretty corrupt environment, everybody around him is worshipping idols. There's nobody who thinks like he does. As a matter of fact, he stands alone and he's considered kind of rebel, you know, he criticized these idols and he's kicked out of his house also.
So the first thing that I wanted to highlight in this examples is that one's iman, a young man's faith or a young woman's faith according to Allah azza wajall isn't always depended on the environment. A lot of times we blame the environment. What can we do, we're living in America. What can we do, they go to public school. What can we do, they're in a bad situation. So of course they're going to be impacted by that. Yeah, that's too true to an extent. But there's a reason Allah gave us this example.
This is the journey of Ibrahim 'alaihi salam before he become a prophet. Revelation is a later situation, first and foremost, he start questioning and exploring, and starts criticizing things that are happening around him. What that tells us is, Allah azza wajall enabled human being, each and everyone of them, regardless of what situation or what society they're part of, to think for themselves. If they chose to follow everybody else and never think for themselves, that's on them. They don't get to say, "Well, what can I do? I was on blinding environment". No! Allah gave you eyes. Allah gave you the ability to see for yourself.

The Case of Yaqub and His Sons

But on the flipside of this, you also have another instances. And to me, one of the unique instances is the case of Yaqub 'alaihi salam who has, you could argue two sets of children, good kids and bad kids. It's the same father. And those some tried to argue. I think it's completely inappropriate to think that Yaqub 'alaihi salam is anything sort of a great father. He's a prophet and prophet are known for their fairness, for their goodness, for their ihsan to all people, especially their own family. So it's unimaginable for us to think that he was a good father to Yusuf and maybe to Benyamin, the youngest one, and he was not a such good dad to the other sons. That doesn't make any sense. He's a father and he's doing best to raise his children, and he's actually later on, if you studies Surah Yusuf carefully, he's even giving good counsel and good advice to those sons that rebelled against. So, there's no reason to think he had a double standard.
The point I'm trying to make is, he as a father and a head of a household as a parent did everything he could to provide a good environment and a good education to his children. And yet, the result that came are completely different, they're actually polar opposites.

On the one hand, and what makes it more interesting is that Yusuf 'alaihi salam was separated from him at a very early age and so he's no longer has a good influence. Yusuf 'alaihi salam no longer has parental influence as he's becoming a young man as he's growing up in a society. We learned that Allah azza wajall had given him a lot of, you know, good looks, Allah had given him high intelligence, great character, but he's living in a corrupt society in the house of a politician. He's basically a young servant who has no parental supervision. He could do whatever he wants, in a sense within that sphere of his. And on top of that, later on he was called on wrong doing. So he's in one bad environment, and by the way, from there he ends up even in a worse environment, inside of a prison. The people around you in prison aren't the best of people. So he's going from one bad environment to another bad environment. When people are in that kind of a bad environment for a really long time, you would imagine they're going to come out messed up. Something's gonna happened to them. They're going to pick up the traits and the qualities of that sick environment that's around them. Of course that didn't happen with him, he retained his pure character.

But if you contrast that with other siblings who are actually living in the household of a prophet, they live in the best possible environment. Can you imagine, your father is a prophet, you couldn't possibly be parented and be offered a better opportunity to be guided and to be raised right. And yet his brothers scheme and they lie and they back fight, and they do these things for many-many years, and they're actually disrespectful to their father as well, for no fault of the father himself.
So the point I tried to make thus far is that you have parents, on the one hand doing nothing, like the case of Azhar, doing nothing, and yet the 'product' is amazing, Ibrahim 'alaihi salam. On the other hand, you have the case of Yaqub 'alaihi salam who does everything, and the product is sometimes awesome like Yusuf 'alaihisalam or not, like the other siblings who for many years were in rebellion.

The Case in Suratul Kahf

When you study the end of Suratul Kahf, you find a story of a young men who have a career, they make a living by fishing, by going out at sea. But after that, after talking about young man who are trying to earn an honest living interestingly, there are two other stories. And these both stories are about young kids.

One young boy is killed and the reason given later on is actually this child when he grew up, he was going to be a terror and a horror to his parents. And it's interesting that when we are told about his parent is.. Fakana abawahu mu'minaini (QS Al Kahfi : 80). His parents were both righteous, good believer. So these two good parents were going to raise a child to the best of their ability and he was going to be a horror for them. He was going to give them a really hard time in life. Thughyanan wa kufran, quran would describe it as, rebellion and disbelief. He's going to be a horrible rebel againts his parents, even though they did nothing wrong in raising him.
On the flip side of it, you have a couple of the orphan boys, who we don't know anything about. You know, Musa 'alaihi salam was told to build this wall, he has no idea why he's building it. Eventually when the rationale is offered to him, why did you build this wall is actually about these boys whose father was a good man, wakana abuhuma shalihan (QS Al Kahfi : 82). Their father was a good man, who died a while ago, now these kids are orphaned, they're being raised on the street and yet Allah azza wajall wants them to have a good life down the road, like He's securing their future down the road.
What I'm trying to get at is that in this life, as far as our children are concerned, we have absolutely no control. We have responsibility but no control, we have to understand the difference between those two things. I have responsibility to my parents, I cannot control my parents. I have responsibility to my children until a certain age, until they reach the age when they're become baligh, when they're considered adults by Allah. That means when they're standing in front of Allah, Allah will not come and ask you first, He'll ask them directly, because kulluhum atihim yaumal qiyamahi fardan (QS Maryam : 95). Everyone will come before Allah individually, all alone, nobody else.

So as we raised our kids, when they get to a certain point, our love for them doesn't go away, our du'as for them doesn't go away, our concern of them doesn't go away. But is Allah going to hold you responsible for the mistake they make? No. The best of your ability you try to give advice, and then you have to back off.
This is something even the Messenger of Allah shalallahu 'alaihi wasalam, the man who had the greatest qualities in every sense of the world, the greatest husband, the greatest leader, the greatest of all prophet, the greatest father. And what does he say to his daughter? Ya Fatimah bintu Muhammad. He says, Fatimah daughter of Muhammad. Ittaqillah. You need to be cautious of Allah, fa inni la amliku laki minallahi syai'a. I no doubt will have no authority to make any case on your behalf in front of Allah. You'll have to stand on your own. I know you're my daughter, but even that doesn't get you anywhere, even that's not enough. You're going to have to stand on your own merits in front of Allah.

This is an important teaching that we need to understand. We cannot change the environment of our children and expect that they're going to come out perfect. We cannot, later on, start getting frustrated with them when they change, when they make bad decisions. Because a lot of our kids will make bad decisions, like we made bad decisions. You and I made bad decisions. We disappointed our parents, they couldn't control everything we did. We also gave them a hard time.
So, what Allah azza wajall does in the Quran is He describe a scenario. And these examples that I wanted to give you, was first to help me remember, and you remember that our children are simply an amanah from Allah. A trust given by Allah azza wajall. How well did we try to raise them, did we do our part, that's all. Nuh 'alaihi salam is not questioned for how he raised his sons, as messed up as his son was, as rebellion as his son was. He did his part as a father, he did what he could, the rest is between his sons and Allah azza wajall. But that doesn't mean that we don't love our kids.

Children Rebelling Out of Control

Like I told you, lots of conversation of especially mothers, and sometimes father too, who come in pain, in tears, telling me how they raised their children. They made them memorize the Quran, they sent them to a Sunday school, they put them in islamic school. They moved from one city to another, took a pay cut, sometimes even lost their business just so they can bring their children into a nicer Muslim community, so they can have the environment. Everything was great, this kids, he was respectful, so loving, so kind, such a perfect kid. You know? And all of a sudden, something happened to him and now he doesn't pray, and he talks back to his parents. And she stays out late at night, and when you try to question them they snapped. I don't know what to do, I can't even recognize if it's the same kids. Where do I go? What do I do? And that's happening over and over again with hundreds, thousands if not millions of families. Children rebelling out of control.

Now there are lots of reason for that happening, but like I said, first and foremost, this khutbah is directed at two audience, parents and their kids. I want to share with you this scenario that children that were raised by good parents rebelling and then completely becoming different people. Like the parents can't even recognize you, "I can't believe you're the same child."

I've seen cases where sons have hit their mothers, they physically assaulted their mothers. I've seen cases where children have threatened their parents, curse at their parents, you know? Stolen from their parents. All kind of things. How did things get to this? Or come to them and say, "Oh well, you know, I don't call you anymore because I don't believe in Islam. I don't pray, and I don't really believe in religion anymore, etc". And those parents, they completely shattered, not one, literally thousands of them.
How does Allah describe the scenario, in a few words. Allah azza wajall says, walladzi qala li walidaih (QS Al Ahqaf : 17), as for the one who said to both of his parents, uffillakuma, I've had it enough with both of you, uffillakuma. I would not translated this as "woe unto you". It's a son who's listening to advice, the mother keep telling him, "shalli..shalli.. Shalli.." She keeps coming to say, "Just pray, just pray", "can you stop doing that," just you know, "come home earlier". She keeps giving him advice, advice, advice, advice. And he's had it, he doesn't want to hear it anymore. So he just said, "ENOUGH! Come on! Stop it already!". Uffilakuma, both of you, I've had it. Atta idanini ukhraja, you keep promising me that I'm gonna come out of my grave? Waqad khalatil quruni min qabli. So many people have died before, nobody comes back. Get over this hell heaven thing. Let me live with my life! I just wanna live my life. I just want to be happy, ok? Why are you guys always talking to me about (deen). Ok, fine! If I have to burn in hell, it's my problem, what do you have to do with it? And slams the door and walks out. This is the scene. That's not a new scene. This is happening for thousands of year.
So what are the parents? Wahumma yastaghitsanillahi. They're begging. The mother is crying at night praying in tears. Ya Allah, my child, my child, my son, my son, my daughter.. What do I do? She used to wear the hijaab. She used to memorize the Quran. Now she's completely becoming a different person. I don't even know what she's up to. You know? Where she goes, who she hangs out with. I found drugs in her room. She smelled like alcohol the other day. Ya Allah, what do I do? Yastaghitsanillah. Istighats is actually means when a town is desperate, it hasn't had any rain and it's drying and drought. And people desperately turn to Allah for a miraculous rain. Wahuma yastaghitsanillah means they were asking for a miracle from god himself. Change something in my life, help me with this.

And they turned to this boy and say, wailaka amin. Curse you, believe!! The parents have had it too. They can't keep giving soft loving advice. Wail is not a soft word to use. It's actually one of the name of one of the worst places in hell. But outside of that, in arabic literature, wail is used as a horrible, horrible curse against somebody. And when they say, wailaka, curse you, in a sense. Damn you. Why are they saying that?

This child, this most beloved thing, product of their love. This child that they raised with so much sacrifice and so much concern. You know, the one you love the most can cause you the pain the most. This child has cost them so much pain, that at this point, instead of making du'a for them, it's just, the ugliest words even come out of the parents now. Even parents start saying horrible, horrible, horrible things out of frustration. Mothers have done it. Fathers have done it. In the middle in the heat of an argument with their children. Just said some really terrible terrible things. Quran captures it. Wailaka amin. Believe! Why don't you believe? Why can't you just be a normal kid? Why can't you be like everyone else, why can't you be like Yusuf? Why do you have to be like this?
You know, and this kid, by the way, it's remarkable that Allah captures reality not in idealistic terms. He captures it in pragmatic, like exactly how things play out. He turns back, and he says, fayaqulu ma hadza illa asathirul awwalin. This is nothing but old stories.

The mothers start quoting an ayah from the Quran, or telling him about this prophet, or telling you about this hadith. "Can you keep this old stuff to yourself? I don't need this anymore. Thank you very much. I don't want none of this. You keep this stories. And you tell them to somebody who cares. Tell them, somebody who's interested." Subhanallah.. Ma hadza illa asthirul awwalin.

Some of you, as you listening to this, you've actually experienced something like this. You've lived it. Some of you are living in that horror in your homes, Everytime the son walks in, there's argument between the parents and the children.
My first address is to the children. Understand the crime you've committed against your parent isn't a small one. That is not a small crime. Ulaikalladzina haqqa 'alaihimul qaul (Al Ahqaf : 18), those are the people that the word, meaning the verdict of punishment is rightfully deserved by those young people. Fi umamin qad khalat min qablihim minal jinni wal insi. This is the same story for all kinds of nation of jin and human beings. Rebellion has always been there. Innahum kanu khasirin. They're always been looser. You will not win in life. You will hurt your parents, you'll rebel against them, you'll run away from them. You'll do whatever you'll feel like doing, thinking "I'm just living my life, let me breath". You'll never find happiness, you'll always be looser. You'll always find yourself in loss. Because of the suffering you caused your parents. It's okay for you to have doubts, it's okay for you to question why are we following this religion, that's fine. But the way in which you dealt with your parents was merciless. They gave you love, care and mercy, and you gave nothing but pain in return. Innahum kanu khasirin.
And you may not be like the example that was just given. So what does Allah Himself do? Walikulli darajatummimma 'amilu (QS Al Ahqaf : 19). And for everybody is according to the degrees that they did. In other words, some people are extremely rebellious. Some people are not praying anymore or some people are doing some haram things in life. And they're rebelling. Some people have left Islam all together, and they were cursing Islam, cursing the Prophet, cursing the Quran, that's happening too. According the degree of your crime, Allah will deal with you. So even though Allah has given one scene, in a sense the worst case scenario, it doesn't mean everybody fits in this scenario. Allah Himself acknowledge that inside walikulli darajatummimma 'amilu. Waliyuwaffiyahum a'malahum wahum la yuzhlamun. They're going to be compensated fully for whatever they did. They're not going to be the ones that are wronged.

Dealing with Children Rebel

But now I turn my attention as I close to the parents that may be going through this kind of suffering. May Allah azza wajall protect all of our parents from over having to see these difficult days. But first and foremost, this is a reality that even prophets were not spared. Nuh 'alaihi salam has to face it, you know? You have Yaqub 'alaihi salam had to face it, right? Ibrahim 'alaihi salam was terrified at it, even though he had fantastic sons. He was terrified of it. He made du'a about it. You know? Wajnubni wa baniyya an na'budal ashnam (QS Ibrahim : 35), keep me and my children from ever falling into the worship of idols. That's the du'a of Ibrahim 'alaihi salam. So it's not like we're ever going to be free from that concern.

But I will tell you one thing, in the ayah there's an isyarah. There's an indication. When your son is 18, 19, 20, 25, 28, 30. He's an adult, maybe a young adult, maybe a very immature adult, maybe one that made horrible terrible mistakes in life. But then again, he's still still an adult, and when that child, or that man, or that woman is an adult, and they're making mistakes in life, what is your role? You and I have to remember, rufi'ul qalam, the pen has been lifted. As far as our responsibility is concerned, our job was to raise them to the point where they become adults. Once they are adults, they are directly responsible to Allah.
The more you try to control them at that age, the more you tell them what to do, the more you try to tell your 18 years old, your 20 years old, your 25 years old to pray, pray, pray, the farther they will run from the prayer. The more annoyed they will become, they will actually distance themselves from you. They will want nothing to do with you. They will see you, the mother who loves them, but as soon as they see you, you haven't even opened your mouth. "Here we go, mom's gonna start her lecture about prayer again. Mom's gonna give me a whole talk about how I need to make taubah, or how I need to stop talking to this girl. Or how I need to stop, Oh god! You know? I'm not even coming over, I'm just going to go out. I don't want to deal with it." And the mom says, "I'm trying to do dakwah. What you want me to do? Not do dakwah? Not incite my child? Not make them better?" Well.. Actually, the way you're doing it is making things worse. The way you're doing it is making things worse.
Understand that there are two levels of relationship you have with your children, especially when you they get older. There's a spiritual relationship in which you're trying to give them advice, naseeha, counsel, that's a spiritual relationship. And then there's an emotional relationship. A mother is a mother. She loves her children no matter if he's the worst human being on earth, she's still gonna love her child. And that child, that son, doesn't matter if he becomes 45, he still wants emotional support from his mom. He still turns to his mother for love and care. He still should feel like no matter who turns me away, my mother will never turn me away. These two things, your role as a spiritual guide, a spiritual counselor, and your role as a father, two separate things. You have to keep those two things separate.
And sometimes when our children rebell and go away from Allah, then they don't need you to be a da'i. They don't need you to give them spiritual advice. Because that will push them further away. They just need you to be a mom right now. Just make them food, don't talk about deen for a while, don't bring it up. Because you know the last ten times you brought it up what happened? You should learn from your own experiences advice. The father, don't lose your cool, don't start complaining. He comes, the son comes home once in a month, and that one month the father says, "Oh, you finally show up?" And he says, "This is why I don't come. Cause you talk like this." And he walks out again. What did you gain? What did you gain?
This is why you'll understand that when Yaqub 'alaihi salam was brought a shirt dirty with blood, and he knew that his sons were lying, he knew it. He understood that, right now I can do nothing about this situation. So the words that came out of his mouth are forever going to resonate for any parent who has adult children that are out of control. Fashabrun jamil wallahu musta'an 'ala ma tashifun (QS Yusuf : 18). The only thing beautiful left now is patience. I need to demonstrate beautiful (patience).

There's such a thing as ugly patience by the way. But he needs to demonstrate beautiful patience. He needs to keep a smile, maintain at least the emotional part of the relationship. "How are you doing son? Are you eating well? Is everything okay?" Don't bring up deen. Just maintain the relationship. Why? Why am I saying that? Because syaitan will come to that foolish young man, or that foolish young woman, and say to them, "Your parents hate you, they always criticize you, they're always nagging you, they're always lecturing you. Forget them! Live your life. Get away, they don't love you. If they love you will they talk to you like this?" And he or she's going to go far and far and far away.
Your job as a parents now, perhaps more difficult that tough waking up in the middle of the night and changing their diapers, and taking them to the hospital when their fever spikes at 2 in the morning. You know? And taking care of their school and getting them ready. All all those exhausting years that you know, that was actually easier.

What you're being asked to do now is much harder, to demonstrated beautiful patience, and maybe to find other sources to give them advices. Not you. Maybe somebody else need to talk to them. By the way, sometimes our children they're programmed at a certain age and you and I was like this too. You'll take advice from anyone except if it comes from your father. If it comes from your father, you're annoyed before he even open his mouth. You're agitated. Your mother says watch this video, listen to this here, listen to this. "Oh god! Here she goes again." You know, there are people who come up to me, "I hate you!". Like, what did I do? "Because my mother makes me watch your video all the time, I can't stand you". Please don't make your kids watch my videos. Please, I'm telling you.. You're pushing them farther away. It doesn't help. You can't shove religion down their throats. Just be parent, just be parent. As painful as it is, as rebellious as they've become, they need something else from you.

The Case of Luqman

At this point, so I leave you with the following.. Even with Luqman, who's probably the longest passage on parenting in the Quran. There's no other place in the Quran that deals with the subject of parenting as exhaustively and even that's brief. But the case of Luqman radhiyallahu anhu, but look at how Allah azza wajall describe it. Just one part of it. Idzqala luqmanu libnihi wahuwa ya'idzuhu (QS Luqman : 13). There's a lot of conditions, when at the very moment when Luqman said to his son, while he was in a position to counsel him. In other words, Luqman doesn't just give his son lecture after lecture after lecture. He finds the right time, the right opportunity. He thinks of a strategic opportunity and then he brings up. Ya bunayya la tusyrik billah. My son, take Allah seriously, don't do shirk with Allah. He doesn't just throw that lecture on his son constantly. He's actually, haliya wahuwa ya'idzuhu suggesting he was very strategic. If the opportunity presents itself, well then good. If it doesn't then take your time, be patience.
Parent that are in this audience already know. You've already have many conflicting arguments and discussions. You've already had fights with.. Somebody stormed out of the house or yelled and screamed or slammed the door. You already know that if you're going to have that conversation start again, it's gonna end up the same way. Be smart about it! Don't walk into that same trap again. I never want to be the kind of parent that has to say, wailaka amin, to get to the point where I lose it and I start cursing, and I start yelling and screaming at my children. And I never want to hear from my children, this religion is nothing but old stories. And they're not saying it because they're disbelieve in religion. They're saying it because they're annoyed with their parents. They can't take it anymore. This conflict, this tension needs to be brought down.
May Allah azza wajall make us wiser parents, and make us more obedient children.

May Allah azza wajall soften the hearts of both parents and children towards Allah's Deen.

And May Allah azza wajall ease the suffering of the families that are having problems with their children.

And May Allah azza wajall gives the children the sense and the guidance to come back and make taubah.

Barakallahuli walakum fil Quranul Hakim, wa nafa'ni wa iyyakum bil ayati wa dzikril hakim.

***

PS: Yang teks merah, ga yakin bener atau ga dengernya.

PPS: Tadinya niat nulis resume dan highlightnya dengan bahasa indonesia, tapi stuck di dua tulisan. sulit untuk menulis bagian pembahasan surat Al Ahqaf-nya. Yang mau baca bisa cek di : Iman Seorang Pemuda di Lingkungan yang Bobrok, dan Have Responsibility But No Control
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