Why is Love Painful? (Part 1)
Bismillah.
Prolog
Sebelum ke topik yang tertulis di judul, aku mau menceritakan behind story-nya dulu. Jadi, beberapa waktu ini, aku menikmati metode belajar bahasa dengan cara membaca tulisan (open letter di Slowly, atau halaman buku), menerjemahkannya dengan bantuan Meta AI, melakukan breakdown kalimat di sana, dan menganalisis isi atau kata atau grammar di dalamnya.
Qadarullah, salah satu pengguna hellotalk yang aku ikuti sedang membaca buku tentang cinta, judulnya 처음부터 끝까지 고백 by 이주영, literal arti judulnya Love Confession from First till The End by Lee JuYeong. Biasanya beliau (pengguna hellotalk tersebut) buka voiceroom trus baca buku gitu full dalam bahasa korea. Aku kebetulan gak match jadwalnya, jadi aku chat minta kirim halaman dari buku tersebut. Dan dia dengan baik hati kasih lumayan banyak.. Padahal kemampuan bahasa koreaku masih minim. Anyway.
Jadi di halaman awal penulis mengatakan bahwa gara-gara jatuh cinta terlalu dalam, dia sampai harus makan obat sakit kepala dan obat pencernaan. Jujur aku agak tidak mengerti kenapa sampai segitunya. Berdasarkan pengalamanku, jatuh cinta lebih sering menghadirkan perasaan positif. Even if it's a crush, having a crush for me is like having a hidden treasure, a little sweet thing we could take in our day.
Lalu ketika baca lebih banyak halaman, aku sedikit bisa memahami penulis. Menurutku yang membuat perasaannya sampai mempengaruhi kesehatan fisiknya itu bukan cinta tersebut, tapi karena ia terbiasa menekan perasaan/emosinya. Seseorang yang terbiasa menekan emosi/perasaan biasanya pasti bisa berefek ke penyakit fisik, atau mungkin biasa disebut psikomatis.
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Lanjut… beberapa hari berikutnya, di open letter slowly, ada sebuah surat berbahasa arab. Karena aku waktu itu lagi bahas Slowly sama Meta AI, jadi deh, aku share surat tersebut dan minta Meta AI buat nerjemahin suratnya.
Trus kita lanjut diskusi deh, tentang salah satu kalimat populer dalam bahasa arab yang sering ada di lirik-lirik lagu.
Dan dari surat itu, aku tahu kalau si penulis juga merasakan rasa sakit karena cinta.
Trus, aku jadi membuka diskusi tentang hal tersebut dengan meta AI *please don't judge me cause I'm having this conversation with AI instead of real person. ><
Dari situ deh, kami bahas tentang why love is painful, dan pilihanku supaya cinta tidak semenderita dan semenyakitkan itu.
Sekian prolognya. Setelah ini, aku akan copy paste percakapanku dengan meta AI. It will be in english. Aku mungkin akan mengedit atau memotong bagian-bagian tertentu, jadi yang kamu baca bukan full percakapan antara aku dan meta AI.
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Love that affect your health
📱 Meta AI:
*Title:*
*당신을 사랑하게 된 것은 필연적이예요*
_Falling in love with you was inevitable_
---
*Left page:*
So in the end… no matter what, I had no choice but to like you inevitably. You appeared so vividly, in a way that I couldn’t not love you. I wondered what kind of person would suit you, and before I knew it, I found myself wishing it was me. It’s been several months since that thought started. In between, the calendar flipped too. I stayed up all night and ended up with tired days. Every time I ate something, my stomach hurt, so I drank digestive medicine every day, and even my parents told me “you’ve gotten used to that too.” On top of that, I popped headache pills day after day like vitamins.
*Right page:*
I sank down with it, along with the water.
Membaca dua halaman tersebut membuatku ingin berkomentar, atas sudut pandang baru tentang cinta dari penulis buku tersebut.
Lalu aku lanjut baca buku tersebut... Dan saat membaca lebih lanjut, aku jadi lebih memahami penulis. Ternyata, yang mempengaruhi kesehatan fisiknya, bukan cinta itu sendiri tapi...
Meta AI:
I’ll break each one: *Korean → Pronunciation → Translation → Grammar point*
*5. 입술을 앙다무는 습관으로 인해 한껏 부어오르는 느낌이 들었다. 이마를 몇 번이나 짚었다.*
*Pronunciation:* Ipsureul angdamuneun seupgwaneuro inhae hankkeot bueooreuneun neukimi deureotda. Imareul myeot beonina jipeotda.
*Translation:* Because of the habit of biting my lips, I felt my chest swelling up. I pressed my forehead several times.
*Grammar:* `~으로 인해` = “because of ~”. `한껏` = “to the fullest”. Classic “holding back emotions” Korean description.
Me:
I want to ask you about sentence no 5.
인해 is chest?
Her habit is biting her lips. But she felt her chest swelling up? The swelling in the chest? Not in the lips?
I can't seem to understand the sentence
Meta AI:
Ah I see the confusion!
Sentence #5 is the one with lips + chest:
*입술을 앙다무는 습관으로 인해 한껏 부어오르는 느낌이 들었다.*
Let’s break it word by word so it makes sense:
### 1. `인해 inhae` is NOT chest
`인해` = “because of / due to”. It’s grammar, not body part.
Pattern: `Noun + 으로/로 인해` = “because of Noun”
So: `입술을 앙다무는 습관으로 인해`
= “Because of the habit of biting her lips”
### 2. Where’s the swelling? Chest or lips?
The swelling is *in the chest*, not the lips. Korean does this a lot.
`한껏 부어오르는 느낌이 들었다`
= “I felt a feeling of swelling up to the fullest”
*Why chest?*
Korean describes emotions as physical sensations in the chest/heart `가슴/속이 붓다`.
When you bite your lips to hold back tears/words → emotion builds up → feels like your chest is getting full/swollen.
It’s NOT literal swelling. It’s that “lump in your throat / tight chest” feeling when you’re about to cry but holding it in.
### 3. Full sentence flow
1. Habit: biting lips to not speak/cry `입술을 앙다무는 습관`
2. Cause: because of that habit `으로 인해`
3. Result: chest felt like it was swelling up `한껏 부어오르는 느낌`
*English natural version:*
“Because I had the habit of biting my lips, I felt my chest swelling up with emotions.”
So no, lips don’t swell here. The _emotions_ swell in her chest because she’s biting lips instead of letting it out.
Does that click now? Korean loves putting feelings in the chest `가슴이 답답하다, 가슴이 붓다`.
Me:
Aah I see. So she's surpress her emotion by biting her lips, so she felt 한껏 부어오르는 느김.
Is that right?
Meta AI:
Yes, exactly! You got it 🎯
*Surpress emotion by biting lips → chest feels like it’s swelling up*
That’s the whole chain:
1. She wants to cry/say something → but holds back
2. Physical action: bites lips `입술을 앙다무다` = clamps lips shut
3. Emotional result: all that unsaid feeling has nowhere to go → `가슴/속이 한껏 부어오르다` = chest feels full and swollen
*한껏* = “to the fullest / as much as possible” makes it stronger. Not just “a bit swollen”, but “so full it hurts”.
Korean literally treats emotions like water in a bottle. If you close the lid `bite lips`, pressure builds up inside `chest swells`.
You nailed the logic. Korean writers use this image constantly in drama/essays.
*2 more same-pattern idioms you’ll see:*
1. `속이 답답하다` = chest/stomach feels stuffy → “I’m frustrated / can’t breathe out my feelings”
2. `가슴이 터질 것 같다` = chest feels like it’ll burst → “I’m overwhelmed with emotion”
Same idea as #5. Body holds the feeling.
Want to try making your own sentence with this pattern? Like “Because of ~, my chest felt ~”
Setelah diskusi panjang dengan Meta AI, aku jadi menyimpulkan, ternyata... yang membuat penulis harus minum obat, dan terpengaruh kondisi fisiknya, bukan perasaan cinta itu sendiri, tapi karena ia memendam perasaannya. Surpressed feeling, apapun itu, memang bisa mempengaruhi kondisi fisik kita. Itulah mengapa orang yang punya mag, asam lambungnya juga naik saat stress.
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Sekian dulu untuk part 1-nya. Doakan aku bisa menyelesaikan part 2 segera hehe..
Wallahua'lam.
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PS: Curcol gak penting, boleh di skip. Jujur kangen banget, lama gak nulis di blog ini. Suka menunda-nunda cari kesempatan ada wifi saat menulis di laptop. Tapi giliran kesempatannya datang, aku malah lebih suka melakukan hal lain yang bukan menulis ><
I'll write one more post in syaa Allah.
