Criticism, Assumption and Softness
Tiga kata di judul itu sebenarnya tidak berhubungan. Itu cuma tiga kata kunci dari tulisan yang ingin saya bahas di sini.
If you have any mistakes in your past, there should be a fire inside of you to want to do good things. Every time there is an opportunity, no matter how tired you are, no matter how exhausted you are, no matter how unmotivated you are, you motivate yourself. And what should motivate you? The mistakes of your past.
Nouman Ali Khan, dalam buku Revive Your Heart
But is your criticism, even if it is criticism, is it first and foremost rooted in love? In concern? Do you care about them? And is that what's driving you to give this wasiyyah?
- Nouman Ali Khan, di buku Revive Your Heart
If you love them, you don't want them to get into more trouble. You want to help them, but you know what? The tone that you're going to take and I'm going to take; the time I will pick and give the advice; the sentiments with which I will carry it; the words I'm going to choose - all of them will be governed by the love I have for them. And if love is not there, if that concern is not there, then we are going to pick some pretty offensive ways of saying things.
- Nouman Ali Khan, di buku Revive Your Heart
What we're learning then is the idea that making assumption about people is inevitable. It's always there, it's always right next to you, it's not something you say, 'Well, I don't judge people man, I don't judge people, I'm not like that'. Actually it's always there. The ifti'al (ijtinab) form in the Arabic language suggest you have to make an effort to do something, it doesn't come naturally. It's not something you do without even thinking about it. It takes effort.
- Nouman Ali Khan, di buku Revive Your Heart
We're learning something very powerful about this process. If you don't change the way you and I think, then things are not going to get better; things are going to get worse
- Nouman Ali Khan, di buku Revive Your Heart
....because the Muslims were supposed to be the example of: how you don't stereotype; how you don't make fun of other people; how you don't make assumptions; how you have clean communication; how you give the benefit of the doubt; how you don't pass judgement until you have absolute clarity. Until you have clarity you don't say anything. You reserve your judgement.
- Nouman Ali Khan, di buku Revive Your HeartDi sini rasanya jleb. Tiap kali aku mikir yang enggak baik, prasangka yang berseliweran. Tulisan di buku ini terngiang. "Oh ini zann.. ayo gerak bell.." Dan ga mudah memang. Tapi bisa, kalaupun enggak bisa, banyak doa dan usaha, semoga Allah mampukan!
Tentang Kelembutan
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In other word, in your speech, in your speech, in your facial expressions, in your emotions, in your interaction with them, the way you look towards them, all of it will have to be soft.
- Nouman Ali Khan, di buku Revive Your Heart












