Let the Sunshine Burn Your Negative Thoughts

Bismillah.

#random #selftalk

Sometimes I'm wondering, is it just my characteristic, like my syakilah, or is it something else? These few day that my eyes feel like to cry, and I start looking some excuse to cry. Is it just me being a crybaby. Or is it something else? Is it my sins that made my heart feel sad, and made my eyes gets teary?

Seberapapun aku tahu kalau fitrah manusia itu halu-a. Tahu kalau pengecualian halu-a itu orang-orang yang shalat membuatku bertanya-tanya. Saat aku terlalu reaktif, halu-a dengan segala makna yang terkandung di dalamnya, aku ragu, yang mana ini. Apakah halu-a ini adalah fitrahku, yang semata-mata keluar secara wajar. Atau ini tentang shalatku, yang ternyata masih belum bisa membuatku masuk ke golongan mushollin?

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Tapi pertanyaan itu.. mungkin sebaiknya aku simpan saja, atau aku abaikan saja. Kita mungkin tidak perlu tahu alesannya. Mungkin memang aku cengeng, atau mungkin aku banyak dosa, atau mungkin keduanya. That's should be put behind. Fokusnya sekarang, how to persuade yourself to stop crying and stop looking for an excuse to cry. Fokusnya sekarang, banyak-banyak istighfar, banyak dzikir, tenangin diri dengan mendekat pada Allah. Bold and underline that in your mind Bell..

Keep yourself busy. Write something, edit your writing, sort some of your post here. Read something, take a note from that book, make a review about it. Take a walk, let the sunshine burn your negative thoughts. Take a deep breath, and think how many things you should be grateful today, but you often lost counts.

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Maybe you need some time alone. You should have knows, that you always have that 'self' time, it's just you who waste it on sleeping or some unimportant things you do. So? Let's learn and keep learning to be better.

Semangat!

Allahua'lam.