Menulis Surat

Bismillah.

I used to think that it is easier to write a letter and put all of my thoughts there. I could express my heart easier with words without intonation. They are my friends. Writing used to always be easier for me.

But this time, it's different. Probably because the topic is difficult. And probably I write while thinking how the achiever will read it. But actually not because two of that.

What makes it more difficult for me to write that letters are....

I don't want it to be just letters.

I don't want to write just sentences.

I want to deliver my feeling and thought.

I want it to be full meaning.

And above all... I'm afraid those will be lies. Sweet words but lies.

***

It's not worth to write. If it doesn't reflected on myself, the way I act, the choice I take.

What is the worth of an empty promise?

I don't want to write those kind of letters.

***

But I still want to write it, as at least a step for me to speak up.

As a way to open up.

So, like these days, when it gets difficult to write a letter... I should have the courage to still write it. Right?

***

Last, what a broken grammar, and poor vocabulary. But who cares?

I'm glad I write this one. And I'll hide it again if I wanted it to disappear.

Allahua'lam.